Tag Archives: mom

Like a Good Neighbor

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Last night I had the biggest scare of my life! While preparing dinner I realized that I must have left a bag of groceries in the car.  My macaroni was boiling on the stove so I ran out to the car to get the bag that contained the Velveeta.

Che was in the middle of the livingroom playing with toys.  Nicholas was at basketball practice.  I pulled the door up so the cold air wouldn’t get in.  Can you believe that the door was completely closed when I returned!  The baby must have closed the  locked door! I stood paralyzed with fear for a few seconds before I thought to check the windows.  I walked around the house with no luck.  Every window was shut tight.

I had the garage  opener in the car but that was useless considering that the door leading into the house was locked as well.  I was out in the cold with no cell phone and no way to get back inside.  I considered breaking a window but there was not a brick or stick in sight.

I surveyed my neighbors trying to decide who I could approach for help.  Since moving in, only one of them extended welcome.  I settled on the neighbors across the street but no one answered.  Then a car pulled into the driveway two doors from ours. 

I timidly asked to use the phone and explained my situation.  I felt embarrassed at my irresponsibility.  I was also unsure if they would help considering it can be unsafe to assist anyone now days.  I was planning on calling the fire department.  A locksmith would have taken far too long. I didn’t know what else to do.

They immediately moved to action.  “We’ll help you get to your baby.” Nancy said.  She ordered her two teen daughters and her husband to head to my house while she slipped on her house shoes.  She was clad in a bathrobe.

A few seconds later she had her daughters check the windows.  We could her Che inside whimpering.  John delivered a commando style kick to the door and we were in!Instantly I ran to my cub who was very curious about the neighbors.

They stayed for a few minutes playing with baby.  After the family left I called my cousin who promptly came over to repair the splintered frame.  The damage was actually minimal. 

“OMGeeeee!” as one of my student is so fond of saying!  I felt a mixture of emotions: overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers, upset with myself for failing to unlock the door, and  immense relief that Che was okay!

Today I plan to leave a token of my appreciation on their door.

4 1/2 More

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On a hunch, I checked Jazmine’s mom release status and to my dismay, she had a new date: April 7, 2010!

Oddly enough I have been pretty calm about the matter. I have enough overwhelming my mind at the present time and I can’t worry about this. I am going to trust that God will see me through.  I have to believe that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Every Room Needs a Mom

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For the last few months I have served as the “room mom” for Nicholas’ grade.  I wish I had a room parent for my own classroom!  Some of my responsibilities include:

  • Calling and emailing parents for various reasons
  • Designing and decorating bulletin boards
  • Providing snacks and treats
  • Organizing parties
  • Coordinating volunteers
  • Teaching “special” lessons

This allows me to contribute without taking too much time from work.  But our  school breaks are different from my son’s which gives me the ability to use a portion of my vacation to do some hands on work.  I also collect BoxTops for education.  What are ways in which you participate in your child’s education?

Obama Mama

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When Nicholas was in the third grade he had to select a famous Black American to represent in a “living history museum” for Black History month.  He wanted to do Colin Powell…again. 

I had just finished reading Dreams From My Father by Senator Barack Obama and was really impressed with his candor and eloquence.   I suggested him. 

After doing the research Nicholas was impressed as well.  His presentation was a big hit.  Later his teacher pulled me aside and expressed her curiousity about how Nicholas came to present him.  I told her that I recommended him after reading his autobiography.

I am excited about Obama coming to office.  I believe he is truly dedicated to the job of making America better for us all.  This simple act of Americans joining together to vote him as president shows that anything is possible.  I know that he will be under a lot of scutiny, but I believe he can handle the pressure.  He deserves the same opportunity as anyone else to do the job.

My focus is not so much on him being the first Black president.  That fact is the cherry on top and it makes his victory much more sweeter.  However, I am more buoyed by his poise, plans for America, intelligence, and great potential to lead the country.

Nicholas attends a school in which there is not a single person of color on the teaching or administrative staff.  In fact, there are only two Black women in non-licensed positions that work there.  The student body is very diverse, so it seems that the staff would mirror this.  It seems strange to me that in this day and age that places/schools/attitudes like this still exist.  I often wonder what message this sends to my son and the rest of the kids? 

I feel fortunate that my son has the opportunity to witness someone such as Barack having the opportunity to be president.  I have always told Nicholas that he could be anything he wanted to be.  Now I know he can!  This morning his was elated by the knowledge of Barack’s win.  So was I.

Eliza the Stepmom

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Sometimes I think about the fact that Eliza is a stepmom just like me.  So I wonder why she is so difficult to deal with? It seems that she would be much more understanding of my role considering that she knows what it is like.

Her husband, whom she married in 2005, has three children.  The youngest one is currently three-years-old.  I know Eliza had a lot of problems interacting with his youngest son’s mom as well as his daughter’s mother.  His oldest son lived with them for a few months because his mom was in jail.  He  called Eliza “mommy.” 

Ethan and Evan did not seem to like their stepbrother much, Ethan more so than Evan.  I think Evan was being a follower.  Ethan did not like the fact that he called Eliza “mommy.”  Ethan is very jealous and territorial of her.  They also mentioned that Eliza thought he was “bad” and was allowed to discipline him.

Knowing how Eliza always wanted a girl, I think she was pretty nice to her stepdaughter who was six-years-old at the time.

Shortly thereafter, it was discovered that her nine-year-old stepson was molesting the boys.  I can only imagine how she must have felt as a mom.  I do empathize with the fact that she was in a delicate position.  I was concerned about my stepsons and also felt sorry for the child because he was a victim himself a year prior.

We happened to find out about the situation two months later through a third party.  We confirmed the story with CPS and after a few weeks we received temporary custody.  Eliza was furious! 

While in our care she wrote the boys a letter telling them that her stepson would never be allowed in their lives again.  However, she and her husband married six weeks after the boys were placed back in her care.

Eliza shared her perspective of this event with me the last time I visited her alone.  She confessed that she knew it was wrong to hate a child but she couldn’t stop from doing so.  She acknowledged that he even apologized to her saying Mommy, mommy, I’m so sorry!  I already knew that he called her “mommy,” but I was surprised to hear her admit it.  Eliza would not allow the boys to acknowledge that I was married to their dad.  Even after the fact she had them refer to me as “Daddy’s girlfriend.”

She was so adamant that her boys not call me anything other than Morocco.  I thought it was pretty hypocritical of her.  Eliza even went as far as lecturing Evan about never referring to me as this.  She warned, You only have one Mommy.  Don’t ever call anyone but me Mommy.  She many left voicemails that always began with This is Ethan and Evan’s Mommy, with a heavy emphasis on the M-word.

I took the opportunity to reply, so he called you Mommy?!”  She knew the question was loaded and read between the lines. She replied halfheartedly Yes, but that’s because I’ve known him for a long time.  Funny, but she’s known him the same length of time that I have known her boys.

The boys revealed that their stepbrother spent the night with them once briefly after the case.  During this time Eliza did not speak to him and made him wait on the porch while she argued with his dad about him. When she fixed dinner that night she did not fix his plate, her husband had to do it. Ethan was proud to tell this story.  He saw it as Eliza standing up for them.

I am really not surprised at the kind of stepmom she is.  Eliza has so many insecurity issues that she views almost everyone as being a threat to her in some form or fashion.  Her other son has a stepmom, too.  I’ve heard that she has no problems with this stepmom.  But that stems from the fact that she is the puppet master controlling her other son’s father.  Eliza was also still involved with him during their relationship.  It’s really crazy that his wife is okay (I am assuming that she is) with this behavior.  There are three people in that relationship–and Eliza is one of them.

Compared to the other stepmom in her life, I’d bet she thinks that I don’t “know my place.”  I see it differently–I just refuse to let her run my household.

We have both struggled in our walks as stepmoms.  I think this would be a powerful way to learn from each other and offer support.  Unfortunately, she is not thinking what I am thinking.

Who’s the Boss?

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Imani and I had an interesting but funny conversation the other day. 

I heard her singing extremely loud (I wonder where she got that from) in the bathroom while washing her hands.  She was singing the ABC song really slow.  I told her to hurry up and come out.  Instead of turning the water off when I told her to come out she had to finish the song.

I asked her what she was doing.  She told me that her teacher said that she had to sing the ABC song when she washes her hands.  That’s fine except Imani likes to play in water.  So of course she is taking full advantage of her teacher’s instructions.

I told her that it was ok to sing the song while washing her hands, maybe only at school.  I did not want to tell her not to sing the song at all but I do not want her playing in water all day.  She will use any excuse to play in water.

We discussed who is in charge at school and at home.  She told me that her teacher was the boss at school.  And that Mommy and Daddy are the bosses at home. 

Then she says, “Mommy you’re the biggest boss!”

I couldn’t do anything but laugh.  I’m the drill sergeant in my house.  Maybe I need to lighten up a bit!  LOL!

My Names

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Nicholas usually calls me Mom.  Sometimes he calls me Mama or Mommy. 

Mom reminds me that he is growing up.

I love it best when he calls me Mommy.  It makes me reminisce about his baby days.  But it is equally sweet when he calls me Mama.  I picture myself as a Mama bear, and he of course, is my little cub. 

He has created nicknames for me–“Mother-of-Pearl” and “Mutter” (mother in German).  Lately he has been calling me “Mother Goose” and “Mama Mia.”

Jazmine calls me “Mymom.”  She oftens hears Nicholas referring to me in this manner.

To my husband I am “Baby” or “Boobie” and sometimes “Moroccan.”

Evan and Ethan know me simply as Morocco.  But on occassion, Evan has called me Mommy, Mom, and/or Stepmama.

Which do you prefer?  Do your children have any pet names for you?