Tag Archives: families

Single Parents

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This one may be a touchy subject but I have to say what I feel.  Remember, this MY OPINION!

Morocco and I were discussing a situation and during our conversation the topic of single parents came up.

Let me go back to my childhood.  I considered my mom to be a single parent, although I know my father.  He was married to my mother until I was 11.  They were separated for a few years before that.  He met a woman, married her and then was not in my life.  Yeah I saw him sporadically.  But he did NOTHING to help my mother raise me and my brother.  Oh he would make many promises but that was all he offered.  I am 34 years old and he still owes my mom child support!  And I still do not see him or hear from him often.  Like I said before my dealings with him are sporadic.

So for a major part of my life I had no father.  He did not attend any of my school functions.  He did not call.  He did not come to see us.  Nothing!  When I was about 17 he and his wife had a daughter.  Then he wanted to show up and show off.  I was not feeling it.  My brother went to visit but I kept my distance for awhile. 

Curiousity won the battle.  I wanted to see how he lived.  His wife had two boys from previous relationships.  They called my father Dad.  I was so hurt by this.  Not because they referred to him as Dad but because they knew him as Dad–if that makes sense? 

What exactly is a single parent?  I hear a lot of women say they are single parents and that they do everything by themselves.  I have a HUGE problem with this statement.  When I think of a single parent I picture a person doing Everything on their own.  Whether it be a mom or dad.

Maybe mom or dad is deceased.  Maybe the mom or dad just took off and never looked back.  Maybe the dad doesn’t know that he even has a child.  Maybe the mom made darn sure the father is not in the child’s life.

There could be a number of reasons why a person could be considered a single parent.  But I feel as though if both parents ARE in the child’s life (not together) and supporting the child, financially and emotionally, that they are NOT single parents! 

Anyway back to my rant…

My mom worked hard to make sure we had necessities, with no help from my father.  So I feel as though she has a right to say that she was a single parent.  Although I have not heard her refer to herself as a single parent.  She did what she had to do to raise us.

Then I hear women (like Christine and Eliza) rant and rave as if they are the ONLY ones doing and helping raise their children when there is a father in the picture.  One that goes above and beyond child support for thier kids.  I’m sorry but I don’t see that being single parenting.

Again, this is my opinion!