Back In The Saddle

Hello, I hope all is well with my dear friends! I know it has been awhile but I have been extremely busy. I am back in school working on obtaining my administrator’s license along with a graduate writing certificate. On top of that, I am in the process of potty training, working fulltime, and looking for high schools for Nic who will be a freshman next year! I am also preparing for a writing conference that I was asked to speak at in October.

Work has been messy to put things nicely. Four of our schools have been taken over by the state.  As a result of this, our Super, has decided that all secondary education teachers will receive pink slips on May 31st so that the employees who lost their jobs will have an opportunity for a position.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude, count my blessings, and just know that better days are ahead.  I am going to Miami for a few days during our intercession (two-week Fall break) now that we have moved to the year-around calendar.  That will give me an opportunity for some much needed mental and physical r&r.

Thank you all for continuing to stop by.  It is much appreciated.

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First Snow

Today was our first snow of the season.  As soon as I turned onto the main road, I did a donut! Luckily no cars were in close proximity.  It was actually more slippery than it looked.  Needless to say, I took my time getting to work!

Men @ Work

No, I’m not talking about the Australian rock band, I’m alluding to the many men who have seemingly come out of  thin air to attract my attention.  I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of men vying for it.  Some, I’m sure, don’t have the purest of intentions.

A vast majority of my would-be suitors are people I work with.  I’m sorry, but I find this incredibly tacky considering that they know my situation.  It has only been four months for crying outloud!  I am really disturbed by their lack of decorum.  I am not interested in being pursued or going on any dates.  I know that I am not giving  them any signs to appraoch me; but  it hasn’t deterred them yet.

Here are a few of the said men who make their interest obvious:

• The Headcase: If the world is indeed  a crazy place, then Eliza’s brother is the commander-in-chief!  How he would even have the audacity to think that I’d have him beats me!!!!  His arrogance is offensive!  In the words of Cher from the movie Clueless “As if!”
• The Head Custodian: He is a handsome older man (mid 40’s) whom I have worked with the longest.  I am not interested.
• The Substitute:  The female students and teachers alike describe him as gorgeous.  It’s crazy the reaction that he gets because I don’t find him good-looking and he is annoying to boot.  He is also a masseur.  I like “manly” men, not androgynous metrosexuals. I am not interested.
• The Special Ed Teacher: Married, no need to say anymore (but if you let him tell it, he’s not happy at home, no sympathy found here!) I am not interested.
• The Former Coworker: He is fair looking, but too intense for my liking.  He heard through the grapevine about  my husband’s death and attended the  funeral.  I am not interested.
• The Neighbor: Married, no need to say anymore! I am not interested.
• The School Police Officer: Older man, not my type.  He looks like Ving Rhames with a Caesar.  I am not interested.
• The Mechanic: An older guy who seems nice enough. I’m not interested.
• The Sheriff’s Deputy:  Another older guy (late 30’s early 40’s).  He is the same one who gave my battery a jump when my car wouldn’t start.  My husband and I knew him from our frequent appearances in family court.  He’s weird. I am not interested.
• The Reverend: He is an older man who looks much younger than he is (66 to be exact) and was the same clergyman who baptized my husband as a child! He has not directly stated his intentions, but his actions (I relunctantly admit) do.  My friend Kara calls me “Shocked and Appalled” because some things that shouldn’t surprise me just do! I mean he is way too old for me, he knows my inlaws, he is a man of the cloth—-it’s too much for me to even ponder!  This one makes me the most uncomfortable.

 The bottom line is I am not interested!  I want to use this time to heal.  If I am meant to have another person in my life, I believe it will happen naturally.  At this point I am not seeking nor do I want to be saught.  Some men are disgusting creatures!

My Desk

Just look at my desk!  I can’t  function amidst such chaos and disorder!!!  Contents include:

Before

Laptop
The Poisonwood Bible (on top of my grade book)
Things Fall Apart (audio and book)
a purple pen for grading (red seems so accusatory and caustic)
SpringBoard text
Kleenex
a notepad
Letter from Jazmine’s mom
Post-it Notes
a highlighter and a black pen
Scholarship/Programs Update for January 2009
a thank you letter to a generous donor
the requisite apple
a family portrait (of one of my student’s family)
speakers for the laptop
stapler
paper clip holder
Pen caddy
Reese’s Cup (for motivation)

After

Now I can work!

The Second Shift

For the last couple of months, my husband has been working the second shift.  By the time he gets home, which is well past 9pm, I am usually in the bed.  He has made the change so that he can put Evan on the bus in the morning when he comes home.  This too, gives him a window of time to pick Evan up if he is having trouble at school.  If he makes it past 11am, Evan is usually okay for the day. 

Therefore it’s just the kids and I.  I get to monitor/help with homework, pick up Nicholas from football practice and Jazmine from the sitter’s, tidy the house, cook dinner, entertain, and everything else in between.  Not to mention all the prep work that I do for school.  I feel like I work a second shift, too (I actually read a book in my college sociology class about this very phenomenon called The Second Shift)!

I do miss my husband.  I am not used to him being gone in the evenings.  The only time that we basically get to spend together is on the weekends.  But then the weekends consist of the many chores that we don’t have time to do during the work week.  The weekends fly by so fast and it’s soon time to get ready for the daily grind…again.

I have two days for Fall Break, today is one of them.  This morning I took Nicholas to school and attended his 7am parent/teacher conference.  When I got home, I slept for an hour before dropping Jazmine off at the sitter’s and my husband at work.  His car is running funny and we don’t want to aggravate the problem.  Then I spent an hour or so working on my friend’s computer before  going to my hair appointment. 

Afterwards I waited for Jazmine to be dropped off (they were at McDonald’s when I went to pick her up) so that we could go to her doctor’s appointment.  Next I had to swing by the sitter’s (again) to get Jazmine’s belongings.

In twenty minutes football practice will be over so I’ll grab Nicholas.  Thankfully, a coworker agreed to bring my husband home tonight.

Tomorrow I plan to take Jazmine to visit her mom.  I also have to get the grocery shopping done.  And I would like to rake a few bags of leaves before they totally engulf us.  I might end the day by watching Bend It Like Beckham and taking notes.  My kids will be studying this film for its cultural aspects and I would like to see it before I show it.

I am the original do-it-yourselfer.  If something needs to be done, by golly, I’m your girl.  I really have trouble allocating tasks as you can see.  If I can do it, I don’t see any reason to ask anyone else.

Maybe I will get to relax one of these days, eh?  However, I think I might take a personal day or two here in the near future!

Hubby Saves the Day!

Busy does not fully describe what I have been the last week and a half.

Ian and Imani were invited to a birthday party by one of our employees from the salon.  We were able to drop them off and enjoy part of the afternoon.  Well instead of relaxing, I did some things around the house while Hubby watched football.  (Don’t you ladies just love football season?)

Hubby was away from home a few nights.  He went to visit a friend in the hospital.

Ian and Imani’s school had Family Game Night at their school.  Hubby and I both had to work late so our neighbor took them.  When I left the salon I went to enjoy the last half hour with them.  Ian won a game of bingo.  Imani was super excited and was running all over the place.  I was so tired but put on a happy face for them.

Kierra went to homecoming at her school last week.  We were really emotional about it considering this was her first high school dance.  I styled her hair and took her to get her nails done.  Then we went to look for a purse to match her dress.  We didn’t find one so she just carried a wristlet.  Hubby took pictures and she looked so pretty! 

I had two meetings after work and one training.  We were given a list of things to do in preparation for a walk through with the big boss.  During the meeting we found out that our building is set to close next May.  On top of that, the big boss informed us that we are not guaranteed a position at another location.  So my stress level is high. 

Hubby has been telling me to just work at the salon and not to worry about getting another job.  But I really enjoy working with the kids at the school.  Decisions, decisions, decisions…I guess I have a while to make up my mind. 

Since we have been runnung around on top of working, my house looks like a tornado flew through it.  Yesterday I had a major headache and I just refused to do anything.  My mom ordered a pizza so I didn’t have to cook.  I just ate and went to bed as soon as I tucked Ian and Imani in bed.

Ian has had a nightmare two nights in a row where he has scared the you know what out of me.  Screaming at the top of his lungs, “Mommy, Daddy Mommy, Daddy!”

I had another rough day at work today.  Another headache!  The rumors started about our meeting.  I just wanted everyone to stop talking about the building closing.  Towards the end of the day, I closed my door and turned on my Zune so I could “let it go” before I got home.  Then I thought about the laundry waiting on me.  Oh, and I didn’t go grocery shopping.  I need to clean the sink in the kid’s bathroom where Imani squirted red sparkly toothpate out of the tube.  Not only the sink but the walls too!  I was so not looking forward to that.

On the way home I was on the verge of tears.  I felt so overwhelmed.  As I pulled into the driveway my Hubby was cleaning out the garage.  We greeted each other and I went in to get a few moments to myself before I started my tasks.

Imani attacked me (which is her ritual lately whenever I come home and Hubby has picked them up from school).  I shared hugs and kisses with her before heading inside.

Going into the kitchen I noticed the breakfast dishes were done.  The kitchen, spotless.  I rounded the corner and saw that the floor had been vacuumed.  Up the stairs, same thing, vacuumed floors.  I go into our bedroom, Hubby finally put up his clothes that were draped over the massage chair.  Our bathroom, spotless.  I go down the hall into the kids bathroom, NO RED TOOTHPASTE EVERYWHERE!!!  I almost passed out.  The kid’s bedrooms, spotless!!!

I broke down crying anyway!  Hubby had to have been cleaning all day.  The only thing he left for me to do was the laundry.  That’s ok, I prefer it that way. 

Kierra even helped the kids with their writing lesson.

Oh, and the icing on the cake…Hubby cooked dinner too!  I just love him to death!!!

Silver Linings Sunday

After seven years of teaching, I must say that this is the worst year thus far.  Don’t get me wrong, the school in which I teach has always had serious educational issues, but now it’s just utterly ridiculous!  I am teaching 6 periods out of 7.  I don’t take lunch at work because I just don’t have the time to do so during my allotted period.   I often feel like a hamster in a wheel.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t win my rage against the machine.  Sometimes I think Pink Floyd  had the right idea.

Just two weeks ago I received a whole new schedule, kids included.  We (the faculty) never know what is going on.  Everyday it is something new.  Usually we find out about things as they are occurring. The kids actually know things before we do! 

At best my job is chaotic, very poorly organized, wildly inconsistent, and really a mockery of education if you ask me.  My husband calls it Eastside High, alluding to the school in the movie Lean on Me ,  if that will help you visualize what I deal with on a daily.  Most days I am simply overwhelmed at how awful things are.  It is extradinarily disheartening.

One day I gripped to a coworker about the inequitable practices and everything else that didn’t sit well with me. I confided in him that I thought it was time for me to find another position elsewhere.  I was ready to pack up and cut my losses.

He preached about how much the kids need me.  He also said something that has stuck with me.  He reminded me that when God was ready for me to go elsewhere, he would create an out for me.  He pointed out if it was my time to leave, I would have been one of the teachers placed at another school.  However, I was one of the chosen few to remain.

I keep that in mind every day and just hope that I am making a difference for somebody.

Despite the myraid of problems I face I am thankful that I have a job.  Although I am totally drained at the end of the day, I have something that many people don’t–a job.  Our economy is so unstable right now and the job market is not much better.  I am blessed (thank you Father!)

Therefore my challenge at work is turning negatives into positives.  This is difficult to do.  I try anyways because I want my kids to feel like they are valued.  I never want them to think that they shouldn’t have access to excellent teachers.  The morale in the building is already abysmally low among both students and staff.  I want them to receive a quality English education.  They are worth me putting my best foot forward.  Afterall, you only get what you put out.

This is what being Bored will get you!

I’m at work waiting for the IT department to figure out an issue with my computer.  While waiting I check my e-mail, nothing in my box. I check my cell phone for missed calls or text messages, nothing there either.  Then I look up the word dingleberry.

This is what I found:

A small clot of dung, as clinging to the hindparts of an animal.  I found this in the Encyclopedia Britannica.

A piece of dried feces caught in the hair around the anus.  An incompetent, foolish, or stupid person. I found this in an American Heritage Dictonary.

The reason why I looked up this word you may ask?  Well for one I was bored and for two this is what we (my husband and I) used to call BM.  The funny thing is (although not as fuuny now since it has a real “nasty” meaning) that I thought I made up the word dingleberry!