Tag Archives: friends

5 Things

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My lovely friend Stacy likes to post 5 positive things that have happened to her that day.  At the turn of the year, I started writing 3 things, got discouraged, and gave up.  Sometimes it is hard to see the light…today she inspired me to try.  Here is my list for yesterday:

1.  I was on time for work: At my job if you are even a minute late, you have to conference with the Big (literally and figuratively) Boss.  I don’t like her and have no desires to dialogue with her.

2.  Cleaned the aquarium: A yucky, time-consuming job–but somebody has to do it.

3.  A Surprise Call:  My cousin El called to see how I was doing, which was nice and unexpected.

4.  Texting: I love this form of communication and it’s easy to send a cheerful message or get some instant support.

5.  Living in America:  Even on our worst days, we Americans live so much better than our counterparts in third world countires.

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The Sisterhood

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There are places in cyberspace where sisters of all ages, creeds, and colors meet up as often as they can for a little girl talk, motivation, support, love, candor, and fun.

This is only one such place. 

You all are like sisters to me! After I read the comments left on Date Night I started laughing, then I started crying.  I cried out of sadness  (just the fact that I even have to date) but more so out of gratitude.  I am so thankful that you all have been here with me.  It has been a long, strange trip, my friends!  Who knew that I would begin as stepmom and end up Ms. Singlemama?

Maybe God knew (of course He did) that I would need this circle of love to get me through a very tender season?  Blogging has no doubt helped carry me through the abysss.

I take your advice and suggestiions to heart because I know you gals want the best for me and vice versa.  I just value you ALL beyond belief!!! So I thank you Stacy, Joy, Doraz, Suzanne, Justaglimpse, Rhonda, Leila, Crys, Been There, Dragonflymama, Serendip, Kweenmama, Starla, Old Freind, Kelly, Destined,  Natalie, Yo, Amy, and anyone else that I forgot to mention who has been kind enough to leave a comment on this blog!

One love,

Morocco

A Diet Dr. Pepper and a Smile

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Monday afternoon I received some very sad news.  My mom and stepdad’s dear friend, Terry, died.  I immediatedly started crying as I listened to his SIL’s voicemail.  I called to tell George and he was clearly devastated.  Terry was his “buddy.”

Terry and my mother attended the same dialysis clinic for years.  My mother loved him, and he likewise.  Everytime we talked she would tell me the lastest stories about him.  Terry was also the stepfather to a boy I had a major crush on in high school, so that scored more points for him!

When my mother died Terry was at the service sharing his memories of her.  That meant a lot to me.  He reached out to us in our time of need.  A few months ago, we all went out to dinner and had a great time.  He was such a charming, eccentric person, and the perfect gentleman.

After I calmed down a few hours later, I called his SIL to get information about the arrangements.  I thought I was okay but I starting crying again.  She replied Now you know Terry wanted everyone happy.  He didn’t want anyone crying.  He left specific instructions  to be cremented.  Half of his ashes will go in a Diet Dr. Pepper bottle (his favorite beverage) and spread over one of the Canadian mountain ranges.  The rest will go to his family.  He didn’t want a funeral, but he wanted a party to celebrate his life.    LOL, I should have known!  Everytime I see a Diet Dr. Pepper, I’ll think of him! 

I was telling my friend Kara about his request when she mused that since we both loved tea, maybe we should get cremated and have our ashes placed in teabags!

Of course, George and I  will be there on Saturday to help celebrate his life over Diet Dr. Peppers and lots of smiles.

Gossip Girl

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I’ve written about this particular “friend” before and her burning need to gossip.  Tasha is known for being a busybody.  She attended the same junior high as both my husband and Eliza.  He said she was the same way then, too.  He felt she was a person that I needed to feed with a long handled spoon. 

In a way I don’t want to cut her off because she does have good qualities.  But here lately, her bad qualities are overwhelming her good ones.  For starters she viewed attending the funeral as a social event–a reunion of sorts.  Tasha stated that she wanted to be “cute” for the service as she never knew who would be there!  On the otherhand, she was very supportive in the aftermath of his death (she was the one in the photo with me on the post Be There).  Not to mention she has a wicked sense of humor and a fair sense of fashion.  When she is not being controlled by the green-eyed monster, she gives good advice and is a great listener.

I try to ignore her malignancy as much as possible.  When she gets to gabbing about others I change the subject or remain quiet.  I wish she would grow up.  However, I know Tasha is suffering from insecurity.   It makes her feel superior for a little while when she is slandering others.  Yet she hates when others do the same to her.  Tasha was complaining about a woman we both know spreading rumors about her!  I wanted to point out that it hurts when the shoe is on the other foot, but she can’t accept constuctive criticism.

She is highly competitive with all of her friends (not just me because I have heard all about them as I’m sure they have heard all about me!) and is very consumed by people who have “more” than her.  I rarely tell her about my accomplishments because I know that she can’t handle hearing such news. 

One day I was combing Jazmine’s hair when she called.  When she inquired about what I was doing, she responded Don’t you mean brushing?!  It was a snide comment that I didn’t play into.  No, I’m combing it.  Her hair has grown quite a bit since the last time you saw her, I patiently explained.  Sometimes she amuses me with her lack of decorum!

She also gets pretty annoyed with me because I do not divulge every detail of my life.  She is very free in her speech and talks about many things including her sex (blush!) life.  I’m not that way with any of my friends!  She often says I hate when people act like they can’t share details.  I know that the “people” she is referring to means me because she thinks that I am too secretive.  But I am very careful about what I say to her knowing that everyone in town would be privvy to the information a few hours later.  I keep the conversation on general terms with her–kids, recipes, shopping, movies, careers–nothing too revealing.

I am pretty good with managing money which I suppose gives her the impression that I have more than I do.  In in my present circumstances she is envious of me!  Who in their right mind would be jealous of a widow?!  She always makes comments that she wishes she could be like me and buy whatever she wants.  When she visits, she surveys the house and starts talking about how she to wants to buy a home and all of the other things she needs to get for her apartment that we already have.  A few times she has even bought her friends with her to show off our house!

I always feel like I am on “display” when she is around.  I can feel her studying and watching my every move.   And she has an opinion about everything!  To be honest I feel sorry for her because she is obviously hurting and unhappy with herself.  But she is too immature to seek another avenue to release her insecurities.  I don’t know how to build her self worth even though I try.  I am not willing to sacrifice my sanity for the sake of  friendship.  But I would like to attempt before ditching her completely.  So how do you help save a friend from this disease of the mouth?

Soul Food

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I really relish a good meal and food comforts me in many ways.  It plays such a big part in our lives–from wedding feasts to repast meals.  Frankly I don’t want to be anywhere that food is not!  I like to cook and bake as an expression of love and appreciation.

I need something to munch on when I’m watching movies or reading an intriguing book.  In fact, this weekend I am going “slumming” at a friend’s house.  We are going to watch “Slumdog Millionaire.”  The evening wouldn’t be complete with snacks! I’ve requested spicy garlic hot wings from BW-3 and a couple of Red Velvet Elvis’.  I plan to bring the champagne cola.  But my friend has a well-stocked pantry, so I know I will be able to eat to my heart’s delight.

Food serving  as a comforter is not a novelty.  I feel embraced by meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, and southern fried corn.  It’s just so inviting!  With every bite I take it’s like going home again!  I also like hearty breads slathered with rich, creamy butter.  And pancakes, casseroles, and chicken and dumplings, grits (with butter, cream, and sugar!), sausage and gravy biscuits…the list is endless. 

What about you?

More Than a Conqueror

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“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ” ~Romans 8:37

I first met her when I was in middle school.  We were not the best of friends.  Our journey continued on to high school.  We pretty much ignored each other.  Fate would have it that we would continue on to the same college.  Somehow we ended up talking casually being that we were both strangers in a strange land.  We having not stopped talking since. 

In 2005 she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I was shocked beyond words.  She was so young!!!  I felt so afraid for her and could not stop my tears from flowing.  But through her trials she never gave up.  She is the epitome of courage.

She has been a fount of strength for me in my time of sorrow.  I can’t even articulate how her support, love, and positivity have kept me afloat. 

And she is currently going through another bout of cancer.  Her faith could move mountains.  She is such an inspiration that I encouraged her to start a blog.  Because I know that her life and experiences will bless others and keep their spirits buoyed, too.