Put It On The Alter

Yesterday I was feeling a little low and frazzled and remembered the CD a friend and coworker made me. I turned it on and the first song was Put It On The Alter by Jessica Reedy. The lyrics really resonated with me:

• It’s been a real hard couple of months, you had enough (mm hmm)
• But it’s been hard for everyone, you’re not alone, (uh uh)
• You’ve been hurting way too long, let it go and just move on
• Make your way down to the altar, hand it over and leave it there
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• So everything that you’ve been worried about (put it on the altar)
• You need him to work it out, he’ll work it out yeah (put it on the altar)
• All of your burdens just bring them all down and (put it on the altar)
• You’re gonna get an answer to your prayer,
• If you (put it on the altar)
• I know you need a healing (yeah) you sick of being sick, you need relief
• You’re tired of the pressure (yeah)
• You got all this stress and you need some peace
• Come on and get your breakthrough (breakthrough)
• Or haven’t you been suffering long enough?
• Make your way down to the altar, hand it over, leave it there
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• So everything that you’ve been worried about (put it on the altar)
• You need him to work it out, he’ll work it out yeah (put it on the altar)
• All of your burdens just bring them all down and (put it on the altar)
• You’re gonna get an answer to your prayer,
• If you (put it on the altar)
• Oh (oh yes you’ll get an answer)
• You’ll get an answer (answer from the lord)
• Oh yes (oh yes you’ll get an answer)
• You’ll get an answer (answer from the lord)
• So you need to put it on, put it on, put it on (put it on the altar)
• So you need to put it on, put it on, put it on (put it on the altar)
• Oh prayer (oh prayer) changes (changes things)
• see I know it does (oh prayer changes things)
• So take it to the lord in prayer (prayer changes things)
• Ask him anything you want cause (prayer changes things)
• Listen, you’ve been worrying and crying
• Crying and worrying
• But you’re not alone, you’re not alone no
• See you have a friend in Jesus, and he knows all about it
• And he’s gonna do what he promised you
• So everything that you’ve been worried about (put it on the altar)
• You need him to work it out, he’ll work it out yeah (put it on the altar)
• All of your burdens just bring them all down and (put it on the altar)
• You’re gonna get an answer to your prayer,
• If you (put it on the altar)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• It’s gonna be alright (it’s gonna be alright)
• So you need to put it on, put it on, put it on (put it on the altar)
• So you need to put it on, put it on, put it on (put it on the altar)

Also yesterday I pondered about the dry season in life that I am going through. I had an earnest talk with God. I even googled “living through a personal dry season” to see how others deal with it and stumbled across an awesome blog. This morning I received an email from the Osteens and I’m sure you already know the topic, lol. I am so thankful that God hears and cares about my lamenting and makes sure to find a way to let me know He is listening. Coincidence? Nah, I don’t think so!

Saved!

Wait, I say on the Lord! Psalms 27:14

Yesterday I was cooking when I received a call from The Neighbor a.k.a Rear Window ( as in the Alfred Hitchcock movie) telling me that Nicholas was very high up in one of our trees and he didn’t want him to get hurt.  Jazmine was sitting on the floor flipping through a book.  I ran out side to see and to my dismay and horror, he was way up there!  I yelled for him to get down immediatedly!  Nicholas replied he was on his way down, but he couldn’t have anyone watching because it made him nervous.  I relunctantly went back inside and turned down the eye on the stove.

When I went back out, he was closer to the ground.  I was so relieved when he finally touched down.  I explained to him not to climb in any more trees without me being present.  Had he fallen, he would have really hurt himself!  That was the last thing I needed!  I also told him it was time to come in.

By this time Rear Window was outside with his two children.  When we got to the door it was closed.  Not only was it closed, it was locked!  I didn’t panic right away because I had my cell phone with me.  Plus, I thought I could talk Jazmine through unlocking the door.  No such luck.  When she figured out that we were not able to get in, she started crying.  I stood on the other side talking to her.

I began to worry when I heard the timer go off.  That meant the smothered chicken was finished cooking.  I saw visions of flames and smoke, sure that the pan would burn and set the house on fire.  I also thought that Jazmine might try to turn off the timer and burn herself in the process.  If nothing else, I was sure that our dinner would be ruined. I grew extremely frazzled!

I called my uncle who has a spare  keyand he said “I’m on my way.”  I called a couple friends to share my dilemma while Nicholas entertained Jazmine.  Kara cracked jokes to help alleviate my worries.  Schappelle prayed.

My uncle arrived twenty minutes later and we were saved!  Jazmine sat by the door looking forlorn.  My uncle picked her up while I turned the eye off.  The food was perfect!  I was a little surprised considering it simmered for thirty minutes longer than it should have.  It wasn’t even scorched!

From this experience I learned that I need to have more faith.  I must believe that all things will work out for the good.  God has the most unique ways of reminding us that he is in control!

Keep On Keeping On

Move on up
towards your destination
You may find
from time to time
Complications
Bite your lip
and take a trip
Though there may be
wet road ahead
You cannot slip
So move on up
and peace you will find
Into the steeple
of beautiful people
Where there’s only one kind

Just move on up
and keep on wishing
Remember your dreams
are your only schemes
So keep on pushing
Take nothing less –
not even second best
And do not obey –
you must have your say
You can pass the test  

~Curtis Mayfield “Keep On Moving”

I am working hard to keep a positive attitude.  Some days are better than others.  It’s hard right now because I am very tired and my temper is short.  But I know I have to do things to keep myself floating.  When I am feeling extremely fragile I avoid people like Tasha who will drain the life right out of you.  I listen to motivational music such as the song above.  I pray.  I clean. Sleep.  Sometimes I write or bake.  Most importantly, I keep on moving. 

On Washing Feet

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.  John 13:14-15

I am undertaking a challenge to metaphorically wash the feet of others.  I’ve talked to Nicholas about this and he has a solid grasp of the concept and was able to convey how he has done this for others.  When Ethan and I helped Mr. Landis (our neighbor) pick up the sticks in his yard after the storm. 

For me this is not simply repaying those who have been kind to me.  It will take creativity on my part to come up with ways to do this.  I want my acts of service to be meaningful and heartfelt.  I believe opportunity will present themselves.  I am actually looking forward to the challenge!

4 1/2 More

On a hunch, I checked Jazmine’s mom release status and to my dismay, she had a new date: April 7, 2010!

Oddly enough I have been pretty calm about the matter. I have enough overwhelming my mind at the present time and I can’t worry about this. I am going to trust that God will see me through.  I have to believe that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

Inspiration

She really wows me sometimes!

Texting God

I wish I could send God a text message.  I wonder if he would respond?  He would probably send me a Bible scripture…

More Than a Conqueror

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ” ~Romans 8:37

I first met her when I was in middle school.  We were not the best of friends.  Our journey continued on to high school.  We pretty much ignored each other.  Fate would have it that we would continue on to the same college.  Somehow we ended up talking casually being that we were both strangers in a strange land.  We having not stopped talking since. 

In 2005 she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I was shocked beyond words.  She was so young!!!  I felt so afraid for her and could not stop my tears from flowing.  But through her trials she never gave up.  She is the epitome of courage.

She has been a fount of strength for me in my time of sorrow.  I can’t even articulate how her support, love, and positivity have kept me afloat. 

And she is currently going through another bout of cancer.  Her faith could move mountains.  She is such an inspiration that I encouraged her to start a blog.  Because I know that her life and experiences will bless others and keep their spirits buoyed, too.

Live Through This

2008 has been quite a year for me.  I never imagined that I would lose both my mother and my husband in the same year.  But as painful, terrifying, and debilitating as it is, I know I will make it.  The truth of the matter is that we can live without lost loved ones even when our carnal flesh feels we can’t.

If that wasn’t the case I would have died my first death when my grandmother died in 1994.

And again when my uncle died in 2001.

And again when my great-aunt died in 2002.

And again when my aunt died in 2004.

And I would have died twice this year alone.

I was very close to each one of them.

Yet I’m still here.  I have had many comatose moments in the pit of despair since he’s been gone.   I am crawling out of it at a snail’s pace.   At my lowest points I feel that I can’t go on.  However, I know these thoughts are strictly from the devil.  He wants me to believe that I can’t exist without him which spawns depression and suicidal thoughts.  But the devil is a liar.

No matter what you are going through, and I can guarantee that you will go through something in the year to come, just remember you can make it!  I hope to grow and learn from my trials .  What else is there to do?  Eventually I hope to use my testimony to help other widows and stepmoms through this difficult time.  And as long as I am alive, I have a chance to do this.  I have lived through a lot of strife in my short time. You can, too!

I hope everyone has a blessed year in 2009!

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Reading Stacy’s lastest post inspired me to review the year.  Here is a list of  the best and worst things that happened in my life during the year of our Lord, 2008:

Best:

1.  Our family vacation in the Wisconsin Dells

2.  Getting Jazmine

3.  My class being featured on the news

4. Full Moon

5. Becoming stronger in my faith

6. I remained healthy

7. I made it through the year financially solvent

8. Turning 30

9. Weekend getaways with my husband

10. Nicholas playing football and winning 2nd place City Champs.

Worst:

1.  My mother dying

2.  My husband dying

3.  Losing Ethan and Evan

4.  Dealing with Eliza’s family

5. Dealing with Eliza’s accusations, paranoia, and flucuating moods

6.  My cousin’s breast cancer diagnosis

7.  My friend’s breast cancer returning

8.  Jazmine’s hair getting chopped off

9.  The massive, stressful changes at work

10. My wedding ring being stolen at work