I need to go back into my past so everyone will understand this post, (by the way this is still a touchy subject for me) but none the less, here goes anyway…
After I married my husband we started trying to get pregnant. However, we were not having any luck. I made an appointment to see my doctor after six months of trying. I figured it may have something to do with my horrible cycles. I have always had really bad cycles. My then doctor never ran any tests to see if there was a problem. It wasn’t until I changed doctors and insisted that my new doctor get to the bottom of my painful menstral cycles that they started taking my issues seriously. Luckily for me she did and sent me to a specialist.
The specialist ran so many tests it seemed like I was at her office three times a month. Finally I got the answers I had been searching for. She found Endometriosis, cysts, and fibroids. I had to go see the specialist every 3 months to get an ultrasound to check the status of the cysts and the fibroids.
The first surgery I had was to remove a cyst the size of a grapefruit. That’s when she found the Endometriosis. I was given medicine for the pain. (Years later) The second surgery I had was to remove another cyst and both tubes because of scar tissue. That’s when she found the fibroids. A year later my fibroids had tripled in size. My doctor gave me a few options but none of those seemed right for me. My whole objection was to stop the pain and the growth of the cysts, fibroids, and the Endometriosis.
The only way to get rid of everything was to have a hysterectomy. So I requested to have one. My doctor did not want me to have the surgery because I was childless. I had already given up on that dream a few years back when my tubes were removed. She wanted to do Invetro. I didn’t want to, too may complications. My husband was very understanding and not at all selfish when I said I couldn’t take it anymore.
I had a partial last June and I have to say that I am so relieved I went ahead with the surgery. No more painful cycles. No more taking two days off work every month because I could not get out of bed.
My only sorrow was the fact that I did not have any biological children.
Oh, but isn’t God a great God? He blessed me and my husband with Ian and Imani!
Today was Imani’s first day of school. Ian goes in two days. I was so emotional this morning when we dropped her off at preschool.
For the first time since being with my husband, I get to be and do what I want. I don’t have that privilege with Kierra. I took the kids to the doctor. I registered them for school. I took them school shopping. I picked out Imani’s outfit for her first day of school. I wrote Imani’s name on her green folder that goes in her book bag. I picked out her blanket and pillow for nap-time. I get to set up parent/teacher conferences. I get to go on their field trips. I just get to be mom to two children that do not have a mom. And in return they get to have a mom that does not have any children.
This may not seem like a big deal but it sure is to me. It’s the little things that make all the difference to me.