Category Archives: Reflections

Restless

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Y’all I feel restless. I have so many dreams and desires for my life. But I don’t know how to obtain them. I have more than a few obstacles in my path that are prohibting me from having the life I want. Money is the number one enemy, or lack thereof I guess I should say. I have an idea of how I want my life to go but I need to take action ASAP. So, I am going to attempt to devise a definitive two year plan to get me to where I want to go.

Here are three things I would like to accomplish:

  1. I would like to buy a new house that includes more of the amenities that I want such as a fireplace, a large walk in closet, an office/library, a picture window, 2.5 car garage, cathedral ceilings, a loft, and a large, modern kitchen to name a few.
  2. I want to travel more. I would like to be able to take my kids on a few vacations a year, plus some solo travel for me.
  3. I’m so burned out at work. I need a new space-one that will not be so anxiety inducing, dsyfunctional, and full of crazymaking. Since I can’t undo my degree, I have to find a new place of employment.
  4. I want to open the business that God put on my heart. I do not have the means to do so at the moment, but it is definitely a dream in my heart.

Here are four things I’m currently doing to make these things happen:

  1. I’m working on playing off hospital bills and credit cards.
  2. I have been saving all of my dollar bills and loose change. My youngest son wants to go to London next year for his 10th birthday and those savings will help fund that trip. Also, I’m impatiently waiting  to read Eat, Pray, Love. I requested it from my local library branch. I’m hoping that will give me some type of inspiration.
  3. I have been halfheartedly looking for a new job. But the pickings are slim in my field. Honestly I am hoping God will drop something in my lap. I am on LinkedIn but I haven’t seen anything I am interested in on there.
  4. I have created something of a side hustle. I started a t-shirt company called Sistees. My sister wanted in on it-hence the name. However, I have to figure out a marketing strategy because I haven’t sold any. I did give away four in hopes that they could advertise the first design for me. I read Contagious by Jonah Berger to get some ideas. Somewhat of a second side hustle is the book we wrote. We being my youngest son and I. You can check it out here.

What do you do when you are restless? What dreams and goals do you have for your life that you still have not fulfilled? Tell me in the comments below!

 

In My DNA

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Hello all! I know it’s been a long, long while since I stopped by to chat on Morocco’s Bazaar. But I’m back!

One of my goals for the year was to have my genealogy traced. I was forunate enough to receive a kit for my birthday and the results came back last night.

It was somewhat emotional for me. Half of my DNA has been a mystery to me. This has, at least, unveiled a bit of it. I was even matched with a first cousin and that surprised me. I was only expecting to learn about my ancestral make up. But I have already had two cousins message me since last night!

 

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As you ca see, I am primarily from the “hinge” of Africa which is known as Cameroon. According to The Fact File, it is the most “urbane” and “ethnically diverse nation” in West Africa. I read a few facts about the country and learned that French and English are the two offcial languages. Perhaps this explains my desire to become fluent in French. Also, Cameroon borders Chad, which is also the name of my oldest son.

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I am looking forward to learning more about my roots as well as connecting with new relatives!

38 to Date

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In honor of my 38th birthday, I want to share 38 things I am thankful for:

1. Jesus’ sacrifice: Glory, glory! 

2. My two precious boys: 17 and 5-my first, my last, my everything!

3. Loving students: They alone make my job worth the stress. 

4. Kindness: I have received a lot of kindness over the last few months that it has encouraged me to pay it all forward. 

5. The gift of another year: Hallelujah! 

6. Good friends: Shanna, Karen, Champale, Manita, and Hasina

7. Good food 😋: I love to eat and cook. I have a whole list of new restaurants that I plan to explore over the year. 

8. All of the birthday wishes and gifts I received today. Some were so unexpected but well received. 

9. A good cup of coffee: I had the most delicious coffee to date in the Dominican Republic and I’ve been on a quest since then to find another. 

10. Heat: What more can I say? Baby, it’s cold outside! 

11. Books: I love to read and I must say that books make me feel alive. 

12. Dear family: I do t have a lot nor am I close to them all, but despite it all, I am thankful to share blood ties with such a motley crew of people. 

13. A career: I am a rose who grew from concrete. I was determined to succeed and by His grace, I did. 

14. Health insurance: It saddens me that not everyone has this basic necessity. If you’ve ever been ill, you know just how vital it is. 

15. Technology: It allows me to stay connected to the ones I love whether near or far. 

16. Forgiveness: Thankful to God for extending it to me with condition. Also thankful for those who have forgiven my wrongs. 

17. Student loan deferments: LOL

18. Mercy: Thank you Lord. 

19.  Socks: I have a hard time walking in surfaces without them. It creeps me out, lol. 

20. Clean drinking water: In light of the water tragedy in Flint, it makes me thankfu for this “small” thing that we take for granted. 

21. Grocery stores: The convenience and array of goods is simply amazing. 

22. The sky: I have been fascinated with the sky for a while 

23. The color pink: It makes me feel so feminine

24. Safe transportation: My grandmother nor my mother knew how to drive. Thus is astounding to me considering the myriad of places I go on a weekly basis. Even though I hate pumping gas and taking the time to have the oil changed-I’m so thankful that when I need to go somewhere, I can simply get up and go. 

25. Coconut milk: This drink has been giving me all the B12 I need to have energy. 

26. Smiles: A simple does wonders for the soul. 

27. Hugs: Love them. 

28. Worship music: A good song puts me right in the Upper Room with the Lord. 

29. Winters that eventually turn into spring

30. Vision: I wear contacts so I know how it feels to have less than 20/20 vision. But I’m so thankful for the ability to see the beauty all around me. 

31. Making a difference: My job is often thankless drudgery. But just knowing that I may possibly make a difference gets me going. 

32. Ice skating: I’ve had such fun taking and teaching my boys how to skate. 

33. Flowers: I love blooms of all kind, especially tulips. They make me feel girly and loved.  

34. Chloe-My precious pooch is the girl child I’ve never had. She came in my life at a very barren, bleak time. Love that dog! 

35. Lessons: I’ve had some tough ones, no doubt. But without them, I would not have the deep sense of gratitude that I have for some things. 

36. Oceans: The ocean is such a magnificent sight to behold. I feel so in awe and in touch with God when I get the chance to partake in its beauty. 

37. Laughter: Tis is a beautiful thing. It is truly a healing balm. 

38. A good heart: Thankfully God judges our heart. I am not perfect, but my heart is good and strives to do the right thing. 

   
    
    
    
   

35 and Still Alive!

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Tuesday was my birthday. I didn’t go all out. I worked and went home and that was alright with me. I’m simply grateful to see another day. With that in mind, here are 35 things that I am thankful for:

1. Health

2. My two children

3. Family

4. Friends

5. Education

6. Students

7. Transportation

8. Flowers

9. A good meal

10. Beaches

11. Photographs

12. Doctors

13. Grocery stores

14. Clean drinking water

15. Insurance (medical, auto, home, and life)

16. Smiles

17. Texting

18. Kindness

19. Work

20. Blogging

21. Warm blankets

22. Hot water

23. Google

24. Tea

25. Pen and paper

26. Hope

27. Seasons

28. Resiliency

29. Saturdays

30. Growth

31. Forgiveness

32. Books

33. Sleeping in

34. Laughter

35. God’s love

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Conqueror

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Yet in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

My best friend has conquered life! On 12.12.12, she returned to our Father in heaven. I have memories that span 22 years-from elementary to college, children and husbands, shopping and dining, drinking tea, attending cultural events, worshipping together, celebrating birthdays and other milestones, and our love of all things Twilight-Team Edward (I take pleasure in the fact that it was me who got her hooked, lol)-we have traversed the roads of life together.

On the drive home from the hospital, the theme from “The Golden Girls” kept playing in my mind:

“Thank you for being a friend/Travel down the road and back again/ Your heart is true/ You’re a pal and confidante.”

She was all that and more. I’ve never had a finer friend. My heart brims over with love for her. I take comfort in knowing that absent from the body means present with the Lord. More than a conqueror, cancer didn’t beat her. She ran the race until the end. For weeping may last a night, but joy cometh in the morning!

I encouraged her to start a blog, and for a moment, she did. She didn’t write a lot, but what she did is so powerful and motivational. I am still amazed by all that she was.

I praise, bless, and thank God for our time together!

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Endship

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In life we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.

Two weeks ago I ended a friendship that spanned twenty years. I thought it would be hard to do, but it wasn’t. The problem that I was having with her was her love for gossip. And she gossiped about everybody and everything! Listening to her speak, you would have thought that certain celebrities were among her closest friends the way she discussed the most intimate details of their lives “I can’t believe Beyonce… Mike (Epps) need to be ashamed for talking to his daughter that way…”

She was also highly competitive and scrutinized my every move and purchase. She always tried to criticize me “on the low” as my students would say.  Often after being in contact with her I would feel so slimy. She was just too much!

Not to mention, her SIL has a son with Eliza’s brother and I wanted to remove myself from that whole drama circle. When her SIL was buddies with Eliza, she used to prank call my house and job on her behalf. So thus when we are in each other’s presence, it is too awkward for her, so much to the point where I started wondering if I had been the one harassing her!

A dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone so I was not surprised to learn that she had been talking about me with a friend of hers. Now when most people talk about you behind your back,  mind you, they don’t usually come and tell you about it and then blame it on the party that doesn’t know you, lol.

When I told her that I didn’t want to be the object of their messy drama, she was totally indignant that I was offended. Her text read Oh and one last thing. I do feel like u have a issue with me, and if that’s true then it’s displaced irritation and we need to keep it moving  because if it’s that “silly” then let it be just that!” She didn’t seem to think their discussion regarding how much life insurance I received when my husband died and what all I had been doing with the funds was a big deal.

I told her it was best that we end the friendship because it was pointless to explain that she is the only one I could have an issue with for discussing my business as I don’t know her friend. She just doesn’t get it and at this stage in life, I’m not sure she will. Unhappy with my response, she took it to Facebook writing “STILL learning that  people come into your life sometimes for just a season and earn no comebacks. All emotional cripples exit stage left.”

I hope she starts her exit soon.

Update on the Wal-mart Oil Change Fiasco

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After the Wal-mart employee returned with the pliers, I waited another 30 minutes for them to complete the task. They listened to the engine twice to make sure it ran okay. The manager of the Tire Lube & Express apologized for the 100th time and asked if there was anything I’d like the store to do for me. I replied that I would contact the store for a refund the following day and see what else the general store manager offered.

I also plan to send an email to corporate office as well as take my vehicle to the dealer for inspection. That whole episode was just too weird for me.

But I am very thankful for the kindness of strangers! It obviously could have turned out a lot worse had others not gotten involved.

Silver Lining: There are still some good people left in the world!

Lesson: Never allow Wal-mart to do an oil change!

Farewell Peyton

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Let me start off by saying that I am not a sports fanatic by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy watching them from time to time, ALWAYS rooting for the home teams (Colts and Pacers). So I was a little bothered to see that Jim Irsay chose not to keep Peyton Manning. Yeah, I understand that it is “business”, but after 14 years it should be more than that. It is not as if he took the year off to pursue hedonistic activities.

I guess it bothers me how dispensable people are and reminds me of my job. Every secondary teacher in our state’s largest school system will receive pink slips by April 1st. We are being evaluated, heavily scutinized and critiqued. It’s getting petty and ugly. Teachers are being written up for being a few seconds late (literally) to midday meetings or if they are “caught” sitting in the classroom.

And no, I don’t make a fraction of what Peyton makes. But I can relate to being the subject of scutiny and disposed for something better. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with the “team.” I think I can safely speak for the majority of our city when I say that he will be missed.

Image via Google

4 Years and Counting…

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To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.

This little blog all started on this day four years ago! My life has changed greatly since then! But that’s life and you just have to roll with the punches. If nothing else, I have learned that there is a time for everything.