Live Through This


2008 has been quite a year for me.  I never imagined that I would lose both my mother and my husband in the same year.  But as painful, terrifying, and debilitating as it is, I know I will make it.  The truth of the matter is that we can live without lost loved ones even when our carnal flesh feels we can’t.

If that wasn’t the case I would have died my first death when my grandmother died in 1994.

And again when my uncle died in 2001.

And again when my great-aunt died in 2002.

And again when my aunt died in 2004.

And I would have died twice this year alone.

I was very close to each one of them.

Yet I’m still here.  I have had many comatose moments in the pit of despair since he’s been gone.   I am crawling out of it at a snail’s pace.   At my lowest points I feel that I can’t go on.  However, I know these thoughts are strictly from the devil.  He wants me to believe that I can’t exist without him which spawns depression and suicidal thoughts.  But the devil is a liar.

No matter what you are going through, and I can guarantee that you will go through something in the year to come, just remember you can make it!  I hope to grow and learn from my trials .  What else is there to do?  Eventually I hope to use my testimony to help other widows and stepmoms through this difficult time.  And as long as I am alive, I have a chance to do this.  I have lived through a lot of strife in my short time. You can, too!

I hope everyone has a blessed year in 2009!

7 responses »

  1. I haven’t endured as many close deaths, although the one I have is enough to know how hard it is. I have endured quite a few other trials in life, and you are right. You can make it through, you just really have to believe you can and have faith that you can. I wish you many wonderful upcoming moments in 2009.

  2. Thank you, Morocco. You have been and always are my inspiration for many difficulties in life. You are the most courageous, Godly woman that I’ve ever met, and I’m so honored to call you friend. Bless you my precious girl!

    Wishing you peace in 2009…

  3. Morocco have you read any of Katie Byron’s books? They definitely strike a cord with me. She has something called the Work and you can check it out on her website. I personally find it keeps me sane at insane moments. Just a suggestion for you.

    You are a teacher, that is how you make your living. So yes, teach, teach, teach. You have taught me what humility, strength, love, vulnerability, integrity looks like. For you have lived them and shown us all what that looks like from your blog.

    May 2009 bring to you, whatever your soul desires to express for your self as well as others. We all have gifts to give, even if we are not aware of them.

    Peace, Love & Blessings to you Morocco!!

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