Speaking in general terms, we all want the good things in life. We don’t want to experience any valleys. Forget waiting–we want the good times to roll ASAP!
I know this is true for me, especially as a stepmom. Dealing with Eliza, there has been a whole lot of bad and ugly. I am ready for the good part. My relationship with Ethan is still the same. It has been two years and it really has not gotten any better. He continues to be distant and rude. It is not for a lack of trying on my part. In this case it does take two to tango.
I’m sure he is aloof for a variety of reasons:
- He misses his mom and I am a reminder that his mom is not available
- He has been trained not to like me
- He is a teenager
- He has limited interpersonal skills (a few of his teachers have mentioned this)
- He misses Evan and his other brother
- He does not put any effort forth to be a part of our family
- He is used to being in an environment in which there was little parental supervision
- He wants to remain the same for Eliza
I have signed him up for counseling. He rarely speaks, so I have no idea what is going on in his head. He talks to Nicholas and does okay (barely) with my husband.
I feel like I am living with a hostile stranger. Yes, I have tried bonding with him. Yes, my husband has tried talking to him on several occassions. Yes, we make an effort to make him feel welcome. I know it may take time, but my goodness, its been two years!
I know in a family that you must take the good with the bad and the ugly. That’s just what families do, yet I am having a hard time doing this.