Yesterday I received a call from Jazmine’s great-grandmother who resides in East Orange, New Jersey. She was calling to see how we were doing as well as to share a portion of a letter that Jazmine’s mom (her granddaughter) had written last week. She wrote that Eliza has been bragging to her how faithfully I brought the boys to see her! Eliza also stated that I should do this for her considering that Jazmine is her daughter! Therefore Jazmine’s mom is bitter that I am not extending her this courtesy!
I had many concerns about this letter:
- I have guardianship of Jazmine and therefore any requests for visitation need to be addressed to me, not her grandmother.
- Why is she even listening/talking to to Eliza in the first place? Also, Eliza failed to tell her that the visits she received were court ordered and that it took her an entire year to get those granted!
- Jazmine’s mom seems to be developing an attitude of entitlement. I guess it is not enough that I am raising her daughter on my own. I think Eliza has manipulated her and helped cultivate this “right.”
- I am offended that she would try to imply that I am doing something wrong by not driving 150 miles roundtrip and using my precious weekend time to do so. It doesn’t seem to bother her that my brother, her parents, siblings, or any of her friends have not visited her at all–or even offered to escort Jazmine. I have visited her twice with my niece; something I did not have to do! I also write her and send cards, pictures, detailed updates, and drawings from Jazmine. I am only one person and I can’t do it all! Actually, I refuse!
- She has not attempted to improve herself during her stay there. She has been in so much trouble that she has added 9 months to her sentence. Therefore I do not feel obligated to inconvenience myself to soothe her obviously fragile, immature ego. If she was so interested in parenting Jazmine, she would do what it takes to get out sooner!
- Again, why is Eliza determined to start more fires?!!! I think she may be missing the consistent visits that I provided her with. Now that my stepsons live in North Carolina, I doubt she gets to see them on a regular basis. Had the boys remained with me, I would have continued to follow the court order. Though she won’t acknowledge this and instead chooses to rub this information in Jazmine’s mom’s face to make her resent me for not doing the same for her. Once again, Eliza is talking from both sides of her mouth!
As a mother I do understand her desire to spend time with her daughter. However, my primary concern is that I take care of Jazmine to the best of my ability. I had nothing to do with Eliza or my niece’s mother landing in prison. I just have the tedious task of rearing children with ungrateful parents! All she seems concerned about is making her stay more bearable.
I knew it was only a matter of time before Eliza rubbed off on Jazmine’s mom!