Hurting people hurt people. They do this to focus their attention elsewhere so that they don’t have to deal with the real pain of their situation. It’s like people who physically cut themselves. While these “cutters” don’t actually draw blood, their “cuts” come in the form of attacking others.
However, knowing this information beforehand only makes it slightly easier to tolerate their toxic behavior. I still wonder:
- Why can’t they get themselves together?
- How do they feel once the temporary high of cutting subsides?
It is hard not to respond in a similar fashion, yet I know that doing so won’t get me very far. Plus cuts do leave scars! I can’t begin to count the number of times I have wanted to slice and dice Eliza right back with a machete the length of Texas. I have envisioned myself filleting her like a piece of meat at Benihana’s! And she’s not the only one in queue for those knife tricks!
Fantasies aside, I have to remind myself that I don’t want to do anything to add to her already troubled state. I breathe easier that way!
I love this piece that Evan created in his art therapy class last year. I call it “Man in Turban.” This piece is displayed on its own stand in our living room. I sent Eliza a picture of it, too. I am so proud of him! When he comes home, I would like to enroll him in art classes to further develop his talent.
My son, Nicholas, is also a fantastic artist. His pieces are featured throughout our home as well. “Purple Haze” is just one of his many masterpieces. He created this one when he was three years-old. It hangs in the family room. Last week Nicholas’ school had an art show that was fabulous. His art teacher is crazy creative with the kids. I can’t wait until she sends his portfolio home! His work has been on exhibit at both Starbuck’s and Hubbard and Craven’s. They even had meet the artisit nights at both shops. Of course we were there beaming with pride at our little Picasso.
She had a bunch of student paintings turned into note cards and place mats to raise funds for the school. I am proud to say that Nicholas’ beautiful design sold out on the first day!
Not to mention, I save so much money by using their art for decoration. I even provide them a little commission for the rights to display their pieces! I am thinking about converting our currently barren garage walls into an art gallery for the boys. I think that would be so cool!
I love poetry. There is something about poetry that makes me feel free. I write when I am happy, sad, excited, confused—virtually anytime. I don’t have to have a rhyme or reason (pun intended!) to write. I thought to share this love with Eliza as a way to channel her stress. During our last visit she confided in me that she had been up all night crying. I really didn’t know what to say, but I did empathize with her. As a mother I know it has to be agonizing for her to be separated from her children.
On the drive home I brainstormed ways that I could help alleviate her stress. Poetry seemed like a good answer. On occasion I have sent her poems for encouragement and she seemed to enjoy those. During Christmas I even wrote one for her on behalf of the children. I figured that writing poetry was a healthy, tranquil method of reducing stress. And it is something that does not require much investment to begin. Also, Eliza had recently shared with me that English was her favorite subject. So I wrote Eliza a letter to pitch the idea and she loved it.
Yesterday I mailed her a “poetry starter kit.” She had expressed an interest in reading some of my work, so I obliged and sent her 11 poems that I had written. I also sent a list of 10 different poetry genres along with instructions for each.
As I mentioned in my last post Opening Up, Where I Come From, was the most personal poem I sent. This poem gives a lot of insight about how and why I am who I am. It highlights the events and experiences that have shaped me. Of course I debated whether to send it along with the rest. But Rhonda convinced me that I should. I realized that I have to let my inhibitions go for the sake of balance. After all, it does take two to have a relationship of any kind—good or bad.
I invite you readers to try your hand at writing your own version of Where I Come From. I would love to see them appearing on your blogs! If you share yours, I’ll share mine! For more information, go to: