Tag Archives: parenting

The Soccer Star and Basketball Bombshell

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Can a boy be a bombshell, lol! Anyhow, my soon to be 20-month-old a.ka. “Young Pele” plays soccer on Saturday mornings at 9am, so no sleeping in for me! And my 13 year-old is enjoying basketball.

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Christine’s Ex

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The Ex dated Christine for about a year off and on.  Kierra liked him and at times she didn’t.  He seemed to be good for Christine because she wasn’t so bad when they were on and not off.

The Ex has a daughter and a son by different mothers.  His son’s mother lives in our city and his daughter’s in another state.  We figured he had a lot to do with calming the fires with Christine since he was is the same position as Husband.  Kierra has mentioned that his son’s mother acted “crazy” with him sometimes.  She said that the mom would cause problems if she knew Christine would be around. 

I used to wish that Christine would meet someone like her so she could feel the same things we did when she acted out towards us.  Well, I got my wish.  Not that I took joy in her discomfort, I just wanted her to open her eyes to the unnecessary conflicts that she was starting with us.

We also figured that Christine told the Ex horrible stories about us especially my husband.  Right again…I’ll explain later.

As she became closer to the Ex he became more visible.  He attended Kierra’s performances at school.  The first time Husband went and introduced himself and shook his hand.  Each time thereafter we saw him; Husband would speak and held short conversations with him.  Christine seemed to be flustered that they were talking.

During their last break up Husband ran into the Ex alone.  He said, “Boy did she paint a pretty bad picture of you!”  They both had a good laugh.  He told my husband that he was nothing like Christine described him to be.

At the hospital my husband learned quite a bit from the Ex about Christine and her shenanigans.

Christine made it seem like they were back together (her and the Ex).  After Kierra’s intial doctor”s appointment she promptly called the Ex and asked him to accompany her to the surgery.  She told him that she didn’t want to go alone.  He said he came to support Kierra because his daughter is the same age.

The Ex questioned her when he got to her house only to learn that her oldest daughter didn’t go to school so that she could be at the hospital, too.

He said that he used to tell Christine about herself all the time for the way she acted towards Husband.  She knew the drama he went through with his own son’s mother.

He told my husband that she complained all the time about Kierra coming to our home for visits.  He said she would try to bribe Kierra to stay home with her so THEY could be a family.  When Kierra did stay or go with her when she was at our home for summer visitation, Christine would try to act like she was so tired so she didn’t have to bring her back.  Kierra caught on.  He said he encouraged her to let Kierra spend extra time at our house.

He also told Husband that Christine said that Husband harrassed her all the time.  She told the Ex that Husband ran all her boyfriends away because he didn’t want her to be with anyone.  (Husband and I got a good laugh about that one.  They had not been together for over twelve years at the time). 

At one point the Ex and Christine were supposed to buy a house together.  They were looking for awhile and Christine seemed to be very happy.  Apparently they got into a huge fight about his son’s mother and things went downhill from there.

The Ex broke up with Christine because of her ways.  He said she was always going off about anything without letting him speak.  (doesn’t that sound familiar!)  He couldn’t deal with the way she treated Kierra knowing he was going through the same with his son’s mother.  (Oh, and the best one…)  She lies a lot. (Really?  Who would have thought!!!)  He said Christine was a cool person to hang out with but he could not be in a relationship with her.

Kierra said the Ex and Christine have gone to the movies from time to time since then.

I’m now wondering if Christine will call and ask him to go with her again to Kierra’s second surgery?

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

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Jazmine’s mom wrote on Friday and of course, she failed to mention anything regarding her extended stay!  She did write that the facility was currently on lockdown mode, and out of boredom, she decided to write.  I have no idea what prompted me to call and verify this information but I did.  The prison has not been on lockdown since last summer when an offender escaped. 

I, too noticed that Jazmine’s mom was in a different dorm since she had last written a month ago.  I already knew the answer before I made the inquiry, but I wanted to be sure.  The prison operator confirmed that Jazmine’s mom and Eliza were infact in the same dorm when she gave me Eliza’s  location!  I knew Eliza’s dorm number by heart due to writing her so often.  I was hoping that Eliza had been moved, but no, they are in the same living quarters!

If they had a prior conflict I can’t understand why the facility would place them in the same area.  Each room contains 16 bunk beds so that means they are in close proximity to one another.  Poor Jazmine’s mom!  The devil sure has a sense of humor as my friend Stacy pointed out.  However, I feel confident that God will have the last laugh!  I don’t know what could, but I pray that something good comes out of them being together.

What’s Your Style?

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When it comes to parenting, I have my own unique style that I like to call “democratic-assertive.”  I am not authoritarian because I believe that this approach eventually  backfires in the end. 

I like to think that I am fair, flexible (to a degree),  and firm.  However, I do like to maintain control.   Kids are kids for a reason.  I am not at all wishy-washy (permissive) and I believe that consistency is a key component to well behaved children. 

Sometimes I think I am too strict and overprotective.  However, my husband is a nice counterpartner and helps round me out with his more liberal views.

I noticed that I approach teaching in the same manner that I do parenting.  Often students are quick to remind us teachers that we are not their parents.  I say a silent prayer of thanks before quickly pointing out that actually I am, in locos parentis.  As a public school teacher I am legally entitled to act accordingly.

Oddly, they embrace this concept once they get over the fact that I don’t look very”motherly.”  Despite my appearance I am quite conservative.  My very austere grandmother had a lot to do with this.  Even though I teach 12th grade, I still set my classroom up as a family.  I am the parental figure and I liken my students to my “kids”. 

Furthermore, I feel obligated to get to know my students like I do with my own child.  I spend so much time with them that I couldn’t imagine doing otherwise.  When you know their strengths and weakness, whims and wishes–it makes the monumental task of teaching far more bearable. 

This approach works for me and it creates an atmosphere of trust, stability, and warmth.  Many of the students that I work with come from broken homes and appreciate this type of environment.  I don’t meddle in their personal affairs or anything of that nature.   And I only give advice when requested. 

We all have to discover what works best for our individual families because one size does not fit all. Here is a quiz I found on ivillage to help get you thinking about the type of parent you are or the kind that you desire to be.