Tag Archives: goals

Restless

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Y’all I feel restless. I have so many dreams and desires for my life. But I don’t know how to obtain them. I have more than a few obstacles in my path that are prohibting me from having the life I want. Money is the number one enemy, or lack thereof I guess I should say. I have an idea of how I want my life to go but I need to take action ASAP. So, I am going to attempt to devise a definitive two year plan to get me to where I want to go.

Here are three things I would like to accomplish:

  1. I would like to buy a new house that includes more of the amenities that I want such as a fireplace, a large walk in closet, an office/library, a picture window, 2.5 car garage, cathedral ceilings, a loft, and a large, modern kitchen to name a few.
  2. I want to travel more. I would like to be able to take my kids on a few vacations a year, plus some solo travel for me.
  3. I’m so burned out at work. I need a new space-one that will not be so anxiety inducing, dsyfunctional, and full of crazymaking. Since I can’t undo my degree, I have to find a new place of employment.
  4. I want to open the business that God put on my heart. I do not have the means to do so at the moment, but it is definitely a dream in my heart.

Here are four things I’m currently doing to make these things happen:

  1. I’m working on playing off hospital bills and credit cards.
  2. I have been saving all of my dollar bills and loose change. My youngest son wants to go to London next year for his 10th birthday and those savings will help fund that trip. Also, I’m impatiently waiting  to read Eat, Pray, Love. I requested it from my local library branch. I’m hoping that will give me some type of inspiration.
  3. I have been halfheartedly looking for a new job. But the pickings are slim in my field. Honestly I am hoping God will drop something in my lap. I am on LinkedIn but I haven’t seen anything I am interested in on there.
  4. I have created something of a side hustle. I started a t-shirt company called Sistees. My sister wanted in on it-hence the name. However, I have to figure out a marketing strategy because I haven’t sold any. I did give away four in hopes that they could advertise the first design for me. I read Contagious by Jonah Berger to get some ideas. Somewhat of a second side hustle is the book we wrote. We being my youngest son and I. You can check it out here.

What do you do when you are restless? What dreams and goals do you have for your life that you still have not fulfilled? Tell me in the comments below!

 

Growing Pains

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I’ve been thinking about the progress I have made growing in my role of stepmom.  It has been a painful, tedious yet extraordinary time.  I look forward to stretching myself to grow more as a stepmom and as an individual in general. 

  • Solution Seeker:  I love this healthy approach!  Don’t get me wrong, I regress from time to time, but usually after I finish venting, I still like to end on a positive note.  I know that our road will never be smooth and I anticipate the bumps.  I try to formulate a plan to overcome them or live with them.
  • Stepmom of Evan and Ethan:  It took me some time to realize this simple truth.  In the beginning, I worked harder at forming a relationship with her than I did with the boys.  Admittedly, I thought I could win their heart by winning her over first.   I really felt this way with Ethan because Evan already doted on me.  While it would be nice for us to have a working relationship; I know that it is more important that I focus my energy on giving the boys the best that I have. 
  • Serenity:  I’ve pretty much accepted that Eliza is who she is and I have to let her be.  I can’t change her.  However, I can change my reactions to things.  I am finally okay with the fact that we may never get beyond our current surface level.  But I feel truimphant for trying.
  • The Gift of Space:  Since I have bequethed Eliza with space, I feel much more peaceful.  I don’t  feel as “responsible” for her as I used to.  I realized that I was probably overwhelming her by being too much of a presence in her life.  I thought I was providing her with encouragment and support in her time of need.   But I think I was actually smothering her!  I know it sounds strange, but I had to sit back and think about it, too.  I am a constant reminder of our past and that she is presently not able to be with her children.  Now mind you, I did not say I am the reason, but I know she can’t help seeing me this way.  Out of compassion and exhaustion, I have taken a back seat.  I have forfeited riding shotgun.
  • Detachment:  I now use this practice when corresponding with her.  I can’t control her emotions but I don’t have to play into them either.  Also, when I can remove myself from the equation I do just that.  I had to learn this the hard way.  Case in point:  When Eliza was asking for information about Evan, I should have immediatedly gotten something in writing from his therapist.  I called myself shielding her from the truth, as I knew she would have trouble accepting it.  The last case summary I had provided her with only served to upset her.  She questioned the credentials of the therapist and thought we were “feeding” him things.  Despite this I still attempted to keep her informed though it only created a lot of stress for me.  I never dreamed that she would accuse me of lying.  In hindsight I realized I should have let her hear the information straight from the source regardless of how it made her feel.  I know now that I can’t worry about how she processes events.  The less I am “involved,” the better things are for me and her (I believe).
  • Empowerment:  There used to be a point in time in which seeing Eliza made my stomach turn.  She caused that much anxiety in me.  Not any more.  There is no reason.  In person, she is not at all intimidating.  Even when she takes us through unneccessary change it just doesn’t bother me the way that it used to.  This is one small way that I know I’ve grown!  I don’t try to psychoanalyze her to death anymore either.
  • Keeping the Circle Unbroken:  If I were an “evil” stepmom, I could easily attepmt to sever the ties between her and the boys.  However, I wouldn’t dream of doing so.  I like to help them stay connected with her.  In fact, my son and I are reading a book together.  I told Ethan he could either join us, and/or  select a book for him and his mom to read and I would send it to her. 
  • Communication:  In the last year or so I’ve been more conscious as ever of how I have probably contributed to the breakdown in communication.  I’ve lived and I’ve learned.  I want to keep the communication going for all practical purposes.  Therefore I concentrate on using invitational practices in our dialogue.  I talk to her respectfully, I understand that she the right to disagree with my husband and me,  I avoid holding grudges, and I genuinely care about her boys and I let it show. 

Have you measured yourself lately?

Get a Leg Up

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I am a to-do list Queen.  It’s apart of my anal nature.  I was inspired to post my list after reading Just a Glimpse,  thanks for the idea!  My list contains what I would like to have done before school begins for me on August 8th.  Some are more practical in nature while others more personal.  I try to do any and everything I can to make the school year go a little more smoother.  Rarely do I use summer for vacation purposes.  Here is my beginning of summer to-do list and the progess I have made:

1.  Take the kids to dentist and well child appointments. 

I’ve taken Jazmine for her immunizations and both Nicholas and Evan to the dentist.  The well child visits will come toward the end of the summer. 

2.  Work on scrapbbooks

I haven’t spent as much time as I’d like scrapping.

3.  Have fun with the kids

I think I have managed to do this.  Of course, I’ve used Cheap Summer Thrills as my guide.

4. Read what I want that is not related to a 12th grade English curriculum!

I’ve read several books that I have enjoyed this summer.  I am currently reading Teacher Man by Frank McCourt.

5.  Organize Evan’s Academic Binder

I have managed to get it sorted.  It is just stuffed with his educational papers and my notes.  I am still afraid to tackle this head-on!

6.  Organize the kitchen cabinets

Last week I had Nicholas and Ethan do it for me while I did the laundry.  I had them create an alphabetized spice list on the computer that I am going to hang inside the cabinet, get rid of mismatched dishes and containers with missing tops and vice versa, and organizedthe pots and pans by size and usage.

7.  Clean out the garage!

Done! I did it as soon as school was out!

8. Gather and donate all used/unwanted items

Done!

9.  Schedule a diabetes test

Done!

10.  Finish and press poetry book

Done!

11.  Do touch-up painting where necessary

Not yet

12.  Potty train Jazmine

In progress!

13.  Have lunch dates with adults

Sadly, I haven’t had a single one!  It is very hard to find “me” time.

14.  Give my car a deep detailing and take care of any other pressing automative needs

Done! I even took it to the dealership to get the handle repainted after they failed to do so when it was in last time for a repair.  After getting painted, they sent it over to the service department to address a recall need.  I love killing two birds with one stone.

15.  Clean the carpet

No…but it really needs it!

16.  Map out curriculum for the upcoming year

No…but I really should!

17.  Attend an advanced writing workshop

Yes, and it was wonderful!  We got paid to write whatever we wanted for a whole week!  This experience was too delicious for words.

18.  Organize loose photos

Not yet.  I have sooo many that it is overwhelming.  I don’t know whether to use albums or boxes…decisions, decisions

19. Go Green!

Yep!

20.  Mend fences where they are broken

In progress.  This one is really important to me because life is too short to hold grudges.  I don’t  want any more enemies; Satan is enough!!!

21.  Prepare things for Evan’s homecoming

I’ve been reading a lot of literature, setting up counseling, researching schools, holding his current school accountable, and I’ve even redocrated his room!

22.  Frame and mat Nicholas’ artwork

No…summer isn’t over yet!

23.  Continue exploring the Word

Actually, I’ve been pretty steadfast about this!

24.  Drink more water

I’ve progressed moderately with this one