Tag Archives: family court

The Order

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Yesterday we received a notice from the court.  It has been ordered that due to his present mental status it is in the best interest of Evan to have no visitation with Eliza at this time.  It did not specify if or when her rights would be restored.  Nor did it acknowledge any of the other “concerns” that she had.

A part of me feels that she got what she asked for.  She was not at all truthful in her letter and had no reason to write it in the first place.  I felt like she wanted us to be punished for not giving into her every whim and desire.  I tried to warn her that this could happen.  However, she told me that “no judge would take my rights away.” 

There is a side of me also that feels sorry for her.  I know she will not take this news in stride.  I know it will be hard for her.  I’m sure she will blame us somehow, some way.

But she needs to understand the severity of Evan’s mental state.  I don’t know if this will help her realize it, however, this ruling takes a lot of pressure off of us.  She is currently in solitary confinement and I believe that this will give her time to think without the opinions of the other women influencing her.

Regardless of her reaction, I am just glad to have this matter finally resolved.

What’s Up With Her?

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Today I received a letter from Eliza.  She wrote to inquire about the boys and to inform me that she is currently being held in segregation until the end of November.  She did not say why.  She only said “I’ve had a rough few weeks.”

Eliza asked that I not bring the boys to visit because she does not want them to see her in chains.  Not to mention, the visit would only last one hour.  She wrote that she would look forward to seeing me in December.

I am glad that she informed me, however, I was puzzled as to why she wrote Ethan telling him about being chained up in segregation, too.  Now if she does not want him to physically see her in this manner, why provide a visual?  Of course it would worry him.  I’m sure he would want to know what it means to be segregated, why she is there in the first place, and if is she hurt, just to name a few things that would probably float in his mind.

We chose not to give him that letter. I am left to wonder if she is looking for sympathy from her son?  I mean why tell him this?  I can respect her reasons for declining visits at this point, but this was information that was not appropriate to share with her child.

Is she expecting me to reach out to her again in her time of need?  I’ve tried that and look where it got me.  I’m not sure if she wrote providing just enough to pique my curiousity so that I would write her asking about the incident and offering my support.  Perhaps she was writing to diagnose the damage that she has done to our communication.  Eliza tried to tread carefully by not revealing too much in case I am not empathetic to her plight.

Was she so upset by the letter from Evan’s therapist that she let her emotions (and mouth) get her into trouble?  I mailed the letter off a few weeks ago.  Eliza shouldn’t have been surprised by its contents because I have been making her aware of the severity of Evan’s PTSD stemming from the murder. 

I knew that she would have trouble swallowing what was written.  Eliza has never really believed what I was telling her about him.   So maybe it was too much reality to handle seeing it spelled out  in no uncertain terms by the therapist.

Wanting to avoid any more contempt accusations, I contacted the court clerk and explained the situation.  I offered to mail a copy of the letter to place in our file.  I have no idea if Eliza will recant her wishes.  I don’t want to deal with her blaming us for missing two visits.  Simply put, we can not trust her.

The clerk agreed and wondered if Eliza had already sent them a copy.  I had to stifle my laughter!  Did she send us a copy of the last letter?  I also inquired about the potential court date.  The clerk said with the letter from the therapist that she doubted very highly that the judge would even act on Eliza’s claim at all.  She also mentioned that it appears that I have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep Eliza abreast of Evan’s progress.  What a relief!

But still, I am left to wonder, once again, what’s up with her?

There Will Be Blood

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Eliza is taking us back to court.  We found out yesterday when I retrieved the mail and noticed a letter from the court clerk.  Of course she failed to send us a copy of her two page handwritten letter that was dated July 31st.  Sensing that her document was ex parte communication, the clerk kindly sent us  one.

In her letter she alleges the following:

  • She has not been allowed to visit with Evan, I am asking you to please address the situation with my communication with my boys, visitation with Evan… 
  • She has no idea what is going on with Evan, Your honor I just want to know what is going on with my child…Your honor I just want to know that my baby is okay.
  • We are withholding information from her regarding Evan’s treatment, I‘ve asked several times to have a copy of a report or medical record from his doctor but I was denied.
  • We are rejecting her calls, I try to call but my attempts are rejected.
  • We are preventing her from having a relationship with her boys, Your Honor I have cared for my boys as a single parent their entire life almost.  I’m not perfect but my children has always come first.  I love my boys, I’m all they really know.  I have always done my best as a single parent providing and careing [sic] for my children.  I refuse to stop now.  It is very important and necessary for my children and I to maintain our relationship.  I do pray to regain custody of my boys upon my release.
  • I told her that his doctor ordered that Evan not be allowed to visit or communicate with her,  I was informed by Morocco, my boys stepmom that Evan’s doctor has instructed them not to allow me visits or communication with him.  I asked Morocco if she made his doctor aware that there is a court order allowing me permission to have a relationship with my children.

Interestingly enough, she never mentions my husband.  All of her allegations are directed specifically at me.

I am hurt. 

I have behaved pretty admirably under the circumstances.  I have written her numerous letters (over 40, the last one being sent on July 28th) providing her with detailed information about his treatment, even making the three hour trip on two seperate occasions so that I could address her concerns.  When I did in fact send her case summaries from the therapist, they only seemed to upset her.   She felt that they were an attack on her parenting–even though they only addressed Evan’s issues and his treatment plan.

I have helped him write several letters to her, even transcribing them myself while he dictated.  I send her photographs as well as crafts that he has made.  I make sure that they acknowledge her on every holiday–big and small.

Evan’s therapist did say that he was not stable enough to visit her at the inception of his treatment.  She is still sticking with her professional opinion.  Eliza also did not include the reason why Evan is even in a mental hospital in the first place.  She did not tell the judge that her child is suffering from chronic PTSD because of the violence (including the murder that she is incarcerated for) that he has witnessed in her care.  Furthermore, it is a hospital and not a hotel.  We can not check him out at our leisure in order to take him on a 14 hour roundtrip visit to see her.

Ethan has not missed a single visit since the judge ordered that we do so.  I have put 1, 728 miles on my car to date escorting him so that he may spend time with Eliza.  She failed to mention this small detail.

I have arranged outings so that the boys could spend time with their brother.

Eliza has only been able to call that one time.  She told me that her third party caller is unable to call on the day and times that the judge granted her.  To prove this we can request to have our phone records subpoened.  Also, since she left that nasty message in May, we have provided a cell phone number for her to call.  Through Sprint I am able to track how often she calls–which has been none.  We figured that she would try to blame her inability to call on us and agreed that this would be a good way to prove it.

The hospital does not accept collect calls.

Eliza is really paranoid about what we have “told” the hospital about her.  She refuses to believe that much of what has been “told” about her (other than the initial intake interview) came from her own child’s mouth.

I’ve come to the realization that she wants things messy.  Eliza is determined that man, woman, nor child will walk away unscathed.  She wants us all bleeding right along with her.  Unfortunately, we are all casualties of her war. 

She has to have something to keep the animosity brewing so that she can “rightfully” explode once she is released.  Eliza is going to continue to play dirty every chance she gets.  It’s too bad that she sees this situation as “Us( her, her other son, Ethan, and Evan) and “Them (me, my husband, and Nicholas).” 

The spoon I now feed her with will simply become longer.

Amazing

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I just finished reading Out of Control by Steven Long which is about the Clara Harris murder case.  I also bought the movie for $3.99 at Blockbuster’s.  The movie, I might add, was a horrible depiction of the events that occurred. 

 But what surprised me the most about the case was the following article that I read about how Dr. Clara Harris received joint custody of her twin boys while incarcerated.  You may read the article by visiting: http://www.glennsacks.com/convicted_murderers_can.htm

I am interested to hear your opinions.