Tag Archives: custody issues

Always in the Middle

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 I found out Friday that my SIL refuses to give the boys back to Eliza (her motives are not the purest$$$$).  She has not allowed her to see them either. And because of this, Eliza’s brother has been harassing her (sound familiar). My SIL is moving them out of town. 

I am glad that I am no longer involved in that drama cycle.  Just knowing what I know about Eliza’s bunch and my sick SIL, it will be messy whatever the outcome.

I feel very sorry for Ethan and Evan.  As always they are caught in the middle of self-serving adults. Please keep them in your prayers.

 

Estrangements

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I found this telling poem written by William Pitt Root in a book called I Feel a Little Jumpy Around You.

A man and his wife are estranged.

They have a child

they love.

The child returns from a visit

with the father

carrying a sack of candy

the mother sees and takes

and throws away.

The child cries, the mother cries,

the father, if he knew,

would cry.

The father knows.

His wife has told him

of that illness, often.

How the hands chill,

the eyes glaze.

But the father loves the child

and the child loves the father.

Neither has a full knowledge of love

and there are things

to be put in love’s place.

So the child cries, the mother cries,

and the father, if he knew,

would cry.

There Will Be Blood

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Eliza is taking us back to court.  We found out yesterday when I retrieved the mail and noticed a letter from the court clerk.  Of course she failed to send us a copy of her two page handwritten letter that was dated July 31st.  Sensing that her document was ex parte communication, the clerk kindly sent us  one.

In her letter she alleges the following:

  • She has not been allowed to visit with Evan, I am asking you to please address the situation with my communication with my boys, visitation with Evan… 
  • She has no idea what is going on with Evan, Your honor I just want to know what is going on with my child…Your honor I just want to know that my baby is okay.
  • We are withholding information from her regarding Evan’s treatment, I‘ve asked several times to have a copy of a report or medical record from his doctor but I was denied.
  • We are rejecting her calls, I try to call but my attempts are rejected.
  • We are preventing her from having a relationship with her boys, Your Honor I have cared for my boys as a single parent their entire life almost.  I’m not perfect but my children has always come first.  I love my boys, I’m all they really know.  I have always done my best as a single parent providing and careing [sic] for my children.  I refuse to stop now.  It is very important and necessary for my children and I to maintain our relationship.  I do pray to regain custody of my boys upon my release.
  • I told her that his doctor ordered that Evan not be allowed to visit or communicate with her,  I was informed by Morocco, my boys stepmom that Evan’s doctor has instructed them not to allow me visits or communication with him.  I asked Morocco if she made his doctor aware that there is a court order allowing me permission to have a relationship with my children.

Interestingly enough, she never mentions my husband.  All of her allegations are directed specifically at me.

I am hurt. 

I have behaved pretty admirably under the circumstances.  I have written her numerous letters (over 40, the last one being sent on July 28th) providing her with detailed information about his treatment, even making the three hour trip on two seperate occasions so that I could address her concerns.  When I did in fact send her case summaries from the therapist, they only seemed to upset her.   She felt that they were an attack on her parenting–even though they only addressed Evan’s issues and his treatment plan.

I have helped him write several letters to her, even transcribing them myself while he dictated.  I send her photographs as well as crafts that he has made.  I make sure that they acknowledge her on every holiday–big and small.

Evan’s therapist did say that he was not stable enough to visit her at the inception of his treatment.  She is still sticking with her professional opinion.  Eliza also did not include the reason why Evan is even in a mental hospital in the first place.  She did not tell the judge that her child is suffering from chronic PTSD because of the violence (including the murder that she is incarcerated for) that he has witnessed in her care.  Furthermore, it is a hospital and not a hotel.  We can not check him out at our leisure in order to take him on a 14 hour roundtrip visit to see her.

Ethan has not missed a single visit since the judge ordered that we do so.  I have put 1, 728 miles on my car to date escorting him so that he may spend time with Eliza.  She failed to mention this small detail.

I have arranged outings so that the boys could spend time with their brother.

Eliza has only been able to call that one time.  She told me that her third party caller is unable to call on the day and times that the judge granted her.  To prove this we can request to have our phone records subpoened.  Also, since she left that nasty message in May, we have provided a cell phone number for her to call.  Through Sprint I am able to track how often she calls–which has been none.  We figured that she would try to blame her inability to call on us and agreed that this would be a good way to prove it.

The hospital does not accept collect calls.

Eliza is really paranoid about what we have “told” the hospital about her.  She refuses to believe that much of what has been “told” about her (other than the initial intake interview) came from her own child’s mouth.

I’ve come to the realization that she wants things messy.  Eliza is determined that man, woman, nor child will walk away unscathed.  She wants us all bleeding right along with her.  Unfortunately, we are all casualties of her war. 

She has to have something to keep the animosity brewing so that she can “rightfully” explode once she is released.  Eliza is going to continue to play dirty every chance she gets.  It’s too bad that she sees this situation as “Us( her, her other son, Ethan, and Evan) and “Them (me, my husband, and Nicholas).” 

The spoon I now feed her with will simply become longer.