I Told You So

I knew that Eliza would find  a way to make the court order our fault.  Her brother left a gruff message on my cell phone demanding that my husband give him a call ASAP.  Of course, my husband did not return his call and does not plan to.  He is not going to answer to him about anything regarding his kids.  He is not a concerned uncle, he is a dangerous goon with a terrible attitude and a notorious reputation. 

I can only imagine what Eliza told her brother.  I’m sure she told him that we have been telling the therapist bad things about her which is why she (the therapist) wrote the letter to the court.  I know she failed to mention how she intiated the court order with her letter. 

It wouldn’t matter anyhow.  Her brother is a male version of her—only worse.  When Eliza was first jailed she did not want us to have the boys.  She wanted them to stay with her family.  Needless to say, my husband wanted his children. Her brother refused to surrender the kids and spent  a lot of time threatening us for trying to get them. After two months he literally dropped them off at our doorstep because his girlfriend couldn’t handle caring for the boys.

However, that does not stop him from attempting to interfere on her behalf whenever she directs him to do so.  We have had our home phone number changed and had our alarm system upgraded since he has forced his way into our lives.  Many of our friends, relatives, coworkers, and the staff at the boys’ schools (he has been banned from both Ethan and Evan’s school and was actually arrested at Ethan’s for trepassing and demanding information) know how much he has harassed us. I like to let people know in case something happens to us the police will know exactly where to go. 

I am afraid that he might just show up at our doorstep.  Being that my husband works late, the odds are it would only be me and the kids at home.  If he shows up, we have decided that I should immediatedly call the police.  I am not going to waste my time explaining anything to him.  He is not welcome at our home under any circumstances.

I really wish that Eliza and her family would let us be.  But I am afraid that will never happen…

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The Order

Yesterday we received a notice from the court.  It has been ordered that due to his present mental status it is in the best interest of Evan to have no visitation with Eliza at this time.  It did not specify if or when her rights would be restored.  Nor did it acknowledge any of the other “concerns” that she had.

A part of me feels that she got what she asked for.  She was not at all truthful in her letter and had no reason to write it in the first place.  I felt like she wanted us to be punished for not giving into her every whim and desire.  I tried to warn her that this could happen.  However, she told me that “no judge would take my rights away.” 

There is a side of me also that feels sorry for her.  I know she will not take this news in stride.  I know it will be hard for her.  I’m sure she will blame us somehow, some way.

But she needs to understand the severity of Evan’s mental state.  I don’t know if this will help her realize it, however, this ruling takes a lot of pressure off of us.  She is currently in solitary confinement and I believe that this will give her time to think without the opinions of the other women influencing her.

Regardless of her reaction, I am just glad to have this matter finally resolved.

The Message

 

I am a bit upset with Eliza.   Here’s why.  She called tonight at 7:11pm to speak with Ethan via third party call (her 11-year-old son from another relationship made the call).  The call was disconnected a few minutes later.  I wasn’t even aware that she had called because I was very busy grading final exams.  My husband was watching a movie, so Ethan answered the call.  It was only when I took a bathroom break that I heard Ethan saying hello repeatedly, so I asked if something was wrong with the phone.  He then told me how it just cut off in the middle of his conversation.  Therefore I assumed that one of three things had to be responsible.  One, the prison detected that she was on a third party call, which is a big no-no (how else is Correctional Billing going to make millions of dollars?), two, it had been raining a lot and often during heavy rain our phones act like this, or three, the battery needed charging.  The culprit was a dead battery.  Eliza left the following message on our home voicemail:  This is Eliza and I’m calling to speak with Ethan.  I was just talking to Ethan.  I don’t know why our phone call was disconnected umm…I, I‘ve been trying to talk to him per court order.  We also need to arrange a time, too for me to be able to speak with Evan as well.  I know that the hours differ where he is, but I also need to speak with him as well. I don’t know what happened today umm… Morocco, please write me and let me know what is going on.  I hope to hear from you soon. Thank you and have a blessed day.  When I turned on my cell phone this morning I checked to see if I had any messages.  Eliza had left a version of this same message on my cell phone.

 

I was bothered by this message for several reasons.  The first being that I felt she was implying that my husband or I ended the call.  Even though it was especially bold of her to leave the message when she obviously called outside of the time set by the judge.  Nor do we need a reminder that there is a court order in place.  My husband has had many court orders granted to see his children, yet she failed to comply with any of them.

 

Secondly, six months ago while in prison, she did take my husband to court for visitation rights.  During this hearing she was granted only two requests from her long list of demands; visits once per month for two hours and the right to call on Wednesdays between the hours of 4-6pm.  The judge was very adamant that she stay within the timeframe that he set.   He even stated that he knew third party calls were illegal to make in prison, and that if she got caught and was “thrown into solitary confinement for it,” it was her problem not my husband’s.  He also told her that he didn’t care if she called using “pigeons” or “smoke and mirrors,” but she was not allowed to call our home collect.  He actually wrote in the order that my husband was NOT to accept any of her calls.  We did not inform the judge that the kids witnessed the murder.  In fact, after the hearing we stood around talking with our attorney and the court clerk.  They both agreed had the judge known what they had witnessed while in her care, he would have never even granted her the monthly visits.  And I am to blame.  I am the one who pushed for her to get to see them and my husband reluctantly agreed not to make it an issue in court.        

 

Next, I disliked the fact she felt free to leave this message while her eleven year-old son was on the phone.  He should not be exposed to adult affairs.

 

Finally, she can’t demand to speak to Evan.  She has no way to do this because she is not listed on any of his paperwork for starters.  The residential facility/psychiatric hospital that he is in does not accept collect prison calls.  Furthermore, his psychiatrist does not think his fragile mind can handle interacting with her until he is more stabilized. The petition she filed acknowledges …if visitation might significantly impair the child’s emotional development, the court may deny visitation rights in the best interest of the child.

 

I’ve already had this conversation with her! And then Morocco, please write me and let me know what is going on what nerve!!!  I don’t owe her any explanations! She is the one who should write ME and let me know what is going on in HER warped head!

 

I am just bothered by her message.  Her tone was both demanding and martyrish…she sounded exactly like the old Eliza.  I almost feel betrayed.   Of course I talked to Rhonda because I was so upset. She felt that Eliza is probably under a lot of stress, especially with Mother’s Day approaching.  So should I just chalk this one up to that time of the month—meaning M-Day?  Here lately I have been examining things From All Angles, so I am going to try and understand this.  I’m already struggling.     

                                                                                                                       

I am so ticked that I am considering not sending her the Mother’s Day care package that I put together for her.  I know I should do anyway and I most likely will.  But she is so inappropriate and inconsiderate at times that it annoys me to no end.  Why bend over backwards for a person like that?  Since she is acting like the old Eliza, maybe I should act like the old Morocco.  Folks, I feel a regression coming on…sigh.