Wouldn’t You Think?


I am trying with little success to figure out why Eliza is lashing out against me.  Wouldn’t you think that since she has gotten what she has always wanted that she would be happy?  I mean, humor me here, what reason does she have to continue being hateful?

I don’t have her children, I don’t have my husband, she doesn’t have to deal with me anymore…what more could she ask for?  The only thing I can think of is that she never abandoned the grudge against us in the first place.  For her own gain she simply kept it closely concealed.

Or, maybe she wanted to be the one to sever all ties with me and end things on her terms.  She never got to do this with my husband considering he left and divorced her.  It’s as if she is projecting her feelings about him onto me.

 Does she think I abandoned the boys? But she would have to know that they were removed from my care by her siblings.  Even if she feels that I did not parent them well or whatever else she may be stewing about, it’s all water under the bridge now.  What purpose would it serve to still be angry?  Any guesses are welcome.

8 responses »

  1. I don’t think her attitude towards you will ever change in a positive way. To her it does not matter about your loses, it is her loses that are important to her, and drives her anger and  the need to hate. Although she should be upset at herself for being in the situation she is in, it is easlier for her to direct that emotion your way because you represent everything she is not. You had, have the life she wanted for herself, and although things have changed greatly, her feelings towards you will always be the same. She uses this attitude to help her get through the days and the situation she is in, it is all she has right now. You did nothing but positive things for Eliza when she deserved nothing from you. She will never feel thankful for all you did for her and her boys because she is and always will be a negative person with negative thoughts. I know it is a hard thing to do, but I think it is time to put Eliza and her actions to rest and let the dark cloud that she is in your life move on so you can enjoy the brighter days that are ahead for you.

  2. I agree Old friend, I need to wash her right outta my hair! It would be a lot easier if I wasn’t hearing information about her from other sources. But I guess she can only upset me if I allow her to do so. I just don’t understand why she still has the audacity to have animosity when I have lost everything, and her, not so much.

  3. Morocco,

    Old Friend is 100% on the mark! Eliza wants you to hurt the way she THINKS she hurts. Nothing she does says anything about you. It all points to ONE unhappy human being. If she can give you her disease, she will feel better. If you “die” from it (become a clone copy of her), she will be elated.

    You’re right in that you can control your response. I think this still stems from the fact that you followed Jesus’ example of turning the other cheek. You’ve done it as many times as prescribed and wil continue to do it. Still, it hurts to know that someone is deliberately gunning for you. It has to; you’re human. It hurts more because it’s, in its weird way, another reminder of what you’ve lost. The person you could MOST share this with is gone. Hence, why your response is complicated. Logically you know better; emotionally, you’re drained and worried about the vampire stalking you.

    I tell people I have one of every kind in my family. I have one of these. My sister STILL won’t talk to her ex-husband. It’s been 27 years! The closest they came was when my nephew committed suicide. They seemed to come together for the greater good… then nothing.

    You can’t fix her. You can’t love her out of this. You can’t love her babies and raise them for her, either. In your heart, you don’t care for her, but you do have basic care for her. You can’t help it; it’s in you. Take it one day at a time.

    Everyone who reads this KNOWS you’re a good person. We know that you don’t deserve her hatred. We’ve got your back.

    Enjoy tomorrow.

  4. you can’t reason with Crazy. Crazy doesn’t explain. Crazy doesn’t live in our normal plane of existence. Crazy twists and turns and does what it wants. Crazy doesn’t know what it wants. Crazy wants chaos. Crazy wants a hotdog. Crazy wants everyone else to be miserable with Crazy.

  5. Suzanne~

    Your response is so dead on! I know all of these things, but as you pointed out, it is all very complicated! I’ve decided though for the sake of my own sanity that I will remove her looming presence from my life. That means people who want to talk about her to me will be halted in their tracks.

    And what you said about the vampire is so true!!! It is hard to be okay when someone has intense hatred for you. What she fails to realize is that I could never be like her–which is why I have such a hard time understanding her responses to situations.

    Suzanne, I really wanted Eliza to be a decent person underneath.


    LOL, you really make me laugh! Your comments are true. Crazy is well…crazy! I have to learn to accept what is and realize that I can’t fix everybody.

  6. I think angry people keep being angry. It may lessen or take different forms, but it’s still there underneath. And any little thing can make it come up to the surface again. Then they lash out at whomever they can. I am so sorry that she can’t just leave you alone- that’s gotta be hard. Thinking of you…

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