Crystal Ball


I wish I had a crystal ball so that I could watch the boys.  I wonder how they are doing?  I wonder what they are doing?  Do they like their new school?  Have they made any friends?  Are they in therapy? Do they like living with whoever it is they are with?  Do they ask about us?  I wonder if they miss us?

Note:  I think I might have “talked them up” because guess who called today at 9:56am? Eliza’s sister.  I didn’t answer because I was working, but when I checked my phone I saw the missed call.  She did not leave a voicemail, which leads me to believe that she is not calling to exchange pleasantries.

10 responses »

  1. I’m sure they miss you and their dad and their brother and Jasmine!

    And kids are resilient- they make friends wherever they go. They’ll be ok. You just have to keep telling yourself that. You said that you had decided it wasn’t safe for you to try to keep them – and with her crazy family, you know you’re right. So trust that they’re fine.

    Take care of yourself and those 2 little ones!

  2. I know that it wasn’t safe–which is why I surrendered. I pretty much was forced to do so and it was something that I was definitely not happy to do.

    However, it doesn’t stop me from still wanting them with us and knowing that with us is the best place for them. It is not an easy thing to let go of. I can almost liken it to a child who has been kidnapped. I imagine that the parents never, ever stop wondering about their child and wishing they were home.

  3. I know you wonder and your heart can’t help but grieve for your loss of the boys, too. I just have to pray that God is taking care of them and watching over them for you. I so wish you had a way to know, too. I have no doubt that they miss you, Nicholas, Jazmine, and their dad immensely. I’m so sorry that all of you are going through so much at the selfishness and thoughtlessness of others.

  4. Yes, I agree, this is such a sad situation. They crystal ball thing could be a good thing but it could also be a bad thing. You really have to pray that they will be fine and hope that one day things can change but if you saw them all the time like that, it might break your heart even more. Ya know?? To see and not be able to touch could kill your soul.

  5. True, Joy, it would hurt to only see and not be allowed to participate. It’s just weird that they are all gone–just taken away without a second thought. I’m going to continue to pray and learn to accept God’s will, whatever it may be.

  6. Morocco-

    I know that you miss them and I’m sure that they miss you. Your care and love for those boys will go on forever. Just as they will love and miss you.

    I hope you get word of how they’re doing so that your questions about that are answered

  7. Thanks Amy, but I will win the lottery before they allow me to know anything!

    Tomorrow I plan to post my thoughts about Eliza’s role in all of this. Forgive me, but I have a lot of emotions about everything that has happened in my life lately.

  8. I’m sure that they think about you and wonder how you are doing too. It would be rather decent of them to leave a message once in a while instead of always calling and calling. I’ll keep your family in my prayers. Take Care

  9. Morocco you are mature for your years. Way back when I first read your blog. I was amazed and impressed,you were able to be vulnerable and open with Eliza. That took courage and strength, you are a strong person.

    I can only imagine her role as she has abused you and your generosity. Instead of being very grateful, someone that genuinely loves her boys is taking care of them.

    She knows she can never measure up to your standards of parenting. So what better way to damage this by causing problems.

    She does not deserve to have her boys, they deserve better then her. They experienced better with you.

    You have made an impact on their lives, and that will carry them through. There is nothing like remembered experience’s. Eliza and her family cannot destroy what you had with them. It’s to late for that.

  10. Thank you Been There! It’s true, I think I have made an impact on their lives. However, it’s the human and me that just wants to know, and know, and know–you know?

    In time it won’t hurt so much, this I know.

    Crys, I think she is only calling to stir something up. Not leaving a voicemail in my opinion means she does not want to leave any “evidence.

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