I Told You So

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I knew that Eliza would find  a way to make the court order our fault.  Her brother left a gruff message on my cell phone demanding that my husband give him a call ASAP.  Of course, my husband did not return his call and does not plan to.  He is not going to answer to him about anything regarding his kids.  He is not a concerned uncle, he is a dangerous goon with a terrible attitude and a notorious reputation. 

I can only imagine what Eliza told her brother.  I’m sure she told him that we have been telling the therapist bad things about her which is why she (the therapist) wrote the letter to the court.  I know she failed to mention how she intiated the court order with her letter. 

It wouldn’t matter anyhow.  Her brother is a male version of her—only worse.  When Eliza was first jailed she did not want us to have the boys.  She wanted them to stay with her family.  Needless to say, my husband wanted his children. Her brother refused to surrender the kids and spent  a lot of time threatening us for trying to get them. After two months he literally dropped them off at our doorstep because his girlfriend couldn’t handle caring for the boys.

However, that does not stop him from attempting to interfere on her behalf whenever she directs him to do so.  We have had our home phone number changed and had our alarm system upgraded since he has forced his way into our lives.  Many of our friends, relatives, coworkers, and the staff at the boys’ schools (he has been banned from both Ethan and Evan’s school and was actually arrested at Ethan’s for trepassing and demanding information) know how much he has harassed us. I like to let people know in case something happens to us the police will know exactly where to go. 

I am afraid that he might just show up at our doorstep.  Being that my husband works late, the odds are it would only be me and the kids at home.  If he shows up, we have decided that I should immediatedly call the police.  I am not going to waste my time explaining anything to him.  He is not welcome at our home under any circumstances.

I really wish that Eliza and her family would let us be.  But I am afraid that will never happen…

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13 responses »

  1. Why can they not just show some sanity even if they don’t possess any?

    I’d call the police too. Can you not get a restraining order against him to keep him away from the school and your home? If you have the restraining order and he shows up – then it’s an automatic trip to jail.

  2. I think we are asking for more than they are capable of giving. They won’t allow a restraining order in our state because he and my husband have never been involved in a “domestic” relationship. I wish we could get one. That would probably solve some of our problems regarding her family.

    The township has simply banned him from their properties and did not need a restraining order. They have his name and face on file at both schools. They view him as a serious threat.

  3. Oh, Morocco, do you ever wonder how your nice husband got mixed up with such a bunch? I wonder that about myself and my husband and our ex’s all of the time!

    It sounds like you have things in order. Do you have a big dog? I was going to mention the restraining order, too, but that’s already been addressed. Could you file one for yourself against him? I mean you’re obviously concerned about your safety.

    I’ll keep my positive thoughts pointed in your direction with lots and lots of prayer.

  4. Stacy~

    I wonder why he didn’t see the warning signs? My husband said that she wasn’t this extreme when they first got together (he was 16 and she was 17). Believe it or not, he said she was taciturn and shy and seemingly shellshocked about life. He said she started changing for the worst when she became pregnant with Evan. He always says if he had it to do over again, he would.

    No, a big dog would be ideal right about now! They wouldn’t even allow me to get one against him because I have not had a domestic relationship with him either.

    It seems that the law is designed to act only after something terrible has happened.

    Thanks, we need it right now!

  5. That is stressful! I am glad that at least the schools are cooperating for the safety of the boys. The law is a twisted things at times, I think that it is horrible that something has to happen in order for it to take effect. I hope that you do not have to be put into that situation.

  6. Crys~

    Yeah, it is stressful having to worry about her goon of a brother. The law is a twisted thing most of the times. The things they should take seriously they rarely do and vice versa. I sure hope we don’t have to be the example!

  7. Geez, that is horrible. A piece of paper (restraining order), is not going to keep someone away. It may, sway them to behave, but that is not always the case. Unfortunately, you cannot get one unless something transpires. Little to late then. You both have to look out for yourselves by protecting yourselves. Alarm on house, a guard dog, phone access if required (cell). Security camera’s outside your home, Well lit outside your home entrances. Vehicle doors always locked, Other means you can come up with. Always being alert to anything or anyone nearby that seems out of character. That is a terrible way to have to live. Always looking over your shoulder. Be careful, and protect yourselves which ever way you have too. If the law cannot do it, then you have to.

  8. Been There~

    Very true, but a restraining order would make me feel that at least the law is making an effort to help protect us. Thanks for the reminders as well.

  9. You know I used to volunteer at our women’s shelter in our town. They once described the relationships as finding a sweet little kitten that grows up into a tiger. Eliza sounds like that kitten.

    Can you get a restraining order with him from the boys (since they are related?) That way the police are involved on some level with him and your family.

  10. Man, does it ever end? I am so sorry that this is happening. I can’t believe that Eliza thought her kids would be better off with her brother than with their own father, who clearly wants to care for them! Talk about lack of respect!
    I know it’s a terrible feeling, but keep your doors locked when you are home and keep that phone handy. But you also have to keep living your life without fear of their actions. If they want to keep making bad choices, that’s fine, I just hope you guys don’t continue to be on the receiving end of those choices.

  11. No, with them it never ends. It will always be something, this I am sure of. She hates us so much that she would have rather had the boys neglected and mistreated than for them to be in our home.

    At this point I am kind of fed up. I am going to continue responding to her inquiries about the boys but that’s it. She has proven that she can’t handle much else.

  12. Wow, more stress to your life. Definitely take some of the steps others have suggested. I would do as you said you are going to do and call the police immediately if he shows up. That right there might send a strong message.

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