What’s Up With Her?


Today I received a letter from Eliza.  She wrote to inquire about the boys and to inform me that she is currently being held in segregation until the end of November.  She did not say why.  She only said “I’ve had a rough few weeks.”

Eliza asked that I not bring the boys to visit because she does not want them to see her in chains.  Not to mention, the visit would only last one hour.  She wrote that she would look forward to seeing me in December.

I am glad that she informed me, however, I was puzzled as to why she wrote Ethan telling him about being chained up in segregation, too.  Now if she does not want him to physically see her in this manner, why provide a visual?  Of course it would worry him.  I’m sure he would want to know what it means to be segregated, why she is there in the first place, and if is she hurt, just to name a few things that would probably float in his mind.

We chose not to give him that letter. I am left to wonder if she is looking for sympathy from her son?  I mean why tell him this?  I can respect her reasons for declining visits at this point, but this was information that was not appropriate to share with her child.

Is she expecting me to reach out to her again in her time of need?  I’ve tried that and look where it got me.  I’m not sure if she wrote providing just enough to pique my curiousity so that I would write her asking about the incident and offering my support.  Perhaps she was writing to diagnose the damage that she has done to our communication.  Eliza tried to tread carefully by not revealing too much in case I am not empathetic to her plight.

Was she so upset by the letter from Evan’s therapist that she let her emotions (and mouth) get her into trouble?  I mailed the letter off a few weeks ago.  Eliza shouldn’t have been surprised by its contents because I have been making her aware of the severity of Evan’s PTSD stemming from the murder. 

I knew that she would have trouble swallowing what was written.  Eliza has never really believed what I was telling her about him.   So maybe it was too much reality to handle seeing it spelled out  in no uncertain terms by the therapist.

Wanting to avoid any more contempt accusations, I contacted the court clerk and explained the situation.  I offered to mail a copy of the letter to place in our file.  I have no idea if Eliza will recant her wishes.  I don’t want to deal with her blaming us for missing two visits.  Simply put, we can not trust her.

The clerk agreed and wondered if Eliza had already sent them a copy.  I had to stifle my laughter!  Did she send us a copy of the last letter?  I also inquired about the potential court date.  The clerk said with the letter from the therapist that she doubted very highly that the judge would even act on Eliza’s claim at all.  She also mentioned that it appears that I have gone above and beyond the call of duty to keep Eliza abreast of Evan’s progress.  What a relief!

But still, I am left to wonder, once again, what’s up with her?


11 responses »

  1. She definitely makes it hard for you. It must be hard to know when she is trying to manipulate things and when it is just poor judgement. This has to be very frustrating.

  2. It is. I hate being so suspicious but she leaves me with little choice. Today I responded to her letter by acknowledging her present circumstances and answering her questions about the boys. However, I kept it brief and did not ask anything about her segregation. I am just going to leave it at that as I believe it is best. I don’t want to get caught in her web again.

  3. It’s sad that any communication from her makes you wonder what she’s up to, but how can you not feel that way considering her past actions. I am glad to hear about what the court clerk said, that’s a good thing. I hope the tide is finally turning your way, Morocco. You so deserve to have some good things happen with the Eliza situation, for a change.

  4. Morocco,

    I imagine what the therapist said really got to her. It’s one thing to hear it from the other parent- it’s another thing to have it laid out in black and white from a certified therapist. Maybe she finally had to face a few facts about her behavior and as she has no coping skills- her “fact facing” didn’t turn out so well. I imagine that she wouldn’t tell you why she’s in segregation because it wouldn’t look good for her in the future when she wants to have her kids un-supervised again.

    Glad to hear that you might not have to go back to court for all this garbage! You deserve to have good things happen!

  5. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, and the clerk sees that. The judge will have to see it too, and hopefully won’t act on her claim. I’m sure Eliza certainly has some ulterior motives, but I think if you just keep doing what you are doing- taking care of the kids, keeping her informed, talking with the clerk/judge honestly, documenting everything, that’s the best you can do. And as the clerk said- you seem to be going “above and beyond the call of duty.”

  6. Thanks everyone for your responses.

    Amy, I thought the same thing about her hearing it from the therapist. Maybe that’s what she needed. I hope she will realize the extent of Evan’s problems. It is what it is and we just have to move forward from that point.

    DFM, I feel better having heard the clerk say that. I am also going to continue with what you have mentioned. I just wish I didn’t always have to look over my shoulder–ya know?

  7. I think it was wise of you to not let Ethan see the letter she wrote to him. Why add to his worries about his mom? It sounds like things are going to go your way. It is always nice when truth reigns.

  8. It seems like you’re a pro at cover all ends now, especially when it comes to Eliza’s actions. I don’t blame you for feeling suspicious.

    And I don’t understand why you would even provide a visual to your child if you don’t want them to see you like that. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

  9. Crys~

    Yeah, that one really stumped me. Maybe Justaglimpse was right, she might have exercised poor judgement without thinking about how it would really disturb him. Again, you just never know with her.

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