My kids are working on a project in which they have to create a soundtrack for a character from the novel The Poisonwood Bible. Each song has to adequately describe the character’s personality and actions.
So I thought to create one for Eliza that details the impact she has had on my life. She is, afterall, quite a character in her own evolving drama.
1. Crazy by Aerosmith~She drives me, herself, and others crazy. I’m not sure if it is done intentionally or not, but she certainly does a good job of it.
2. Leave Me Alone by Michael Jackson~This song speaks for itself–I wish she would leave me and mine the heck alone!
3. Scream by Michael and Janet Jackson~She often makes me wanna SCREAM!!!!!
4. I Will Survive by Gloria Gainor~I am determined to overcome Eliza and all her pettiness.
5. Shake It Off by Mariah Carey~This song reminds me to relax and to “shake off” the small, numerous jabs Eliza throws my way simply to offset my equilibrium.
6. It Ain’t My Fault by Silkk the Shocker~Eliza’s anthem, for nothing is her fault–even when it is all her fault.
7. Getting In The Way by Jill Scott~This describes Eliza’s attempts to scare me off and sever the relationship I have with my husband.
8. U Don’t Have to Call by Usher~I wish she would listen to this song! She does not have to call our home leaving foul, vile, juvenile messages. This is one of her trademarks–phone terrorism. I wonder what she would do if we had no voicemail?
9. Wanna Be Startin’ Something by Michael Jackson~ She is not at peace if she is not sowing seeds of contention in somebody’s life–namely ours.
10. We Need a Resolution by Aaliyah~I’ve reached this conclusion a long time ago, however, I am waiting impatiently for her.
11. Ain’t That Peculiar by Marvin Gaye~Some of hers actions leave me with this very same sentiment.
12. Can I Get a Witness by Marvin Gaye~In the days when she was determined to annilihate us, I decided to document everything. She was so sly with her lies that I felt we needed the support of documentation and actual witnesses.
13. Cold-Blooded by Rick James~Yep, that’s her. Some of her behaviors have literally sent chills up my spine.
14. Controversy by Prince~Eliza loves all things controversial. If it is not drawing attention, upsetting others, and doing a lot of unneccessary damage, she wants no part of it.
15. Get Low by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys~I am always amazed at how dirty Eliza likes to play! I’ve had to find out the hard way how low she is willing to go.
16. Locked Up by Akon~I’m sorry–I couldn’t resist!
17. Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson~Despite it all, I think Eliza is really hurting but pretends that she is not. Therefore she projects her pain onto others. This alone is what prevents me from totally despising her.
18. Complicated by Robbin Thicke~The whole situation with Eliza is just complicated–and she loves having it this way! This thing has more layers than a blooming onion!
19. No More Drama by Mary J. Blige~Please?
20. Can’t Help It by Jon B.~Sometimes I really believe that Eliza can not help herself from doing the things that she does. I mean what other reason does she have for some of her actions?
21. New Attitude by Patti Labelle~I would like her to wake up with a whole new way of handling things. A girl can wish, can’t she?
22. Bossy by Kelis~She has to be in control at all times. It is her way or the highway. She even told my husband once “I pay the cost to be the boss.” Well, the money she used to pay the cost came from child support, I so wanted to remind her!
23. What Comes Around…by Justin Timberlake~Doesn’t reality bite?
24. It Ain’t Easy by Tupac~It is difficult dealing with Eliza–especially in person. Every month I have to plaster on a smile and keep my feelings at bay. Sometimes I am so uncomfortable being around her because I know that she does not really like me. Other times I am angry at her immaturity, lack of consideration, lies–just fill in the blank. However, I think I pull it off well.
25. Eleanor Rigby by The Beetles~Like Eleanor, she is a lonely woman.
26. Crash by The Dave Matthews Band~Eliza made an unwelcome entrance into my life much like a big crash.
27. Forgive Them Father by Lauryn Hill~When it all said and done, I know I have to forgive her for things she has done to me.
28. We Didn’t Start The Fire by Billy Joel~I feel like a lot of the problems that we have experienced with Eliza have been caused by her. Because she was feeling insecure, hurt, angry, betrayed, and jealous, she had to make sure that we felt some of her pain.
29. Dancing In The Dark by Bruce Springsteen~For a brief while I felt like Eliza and I were making progress in my attempt to start anew. She certainly had me fooled because I didn’t intially realize that she had an agenda much different than mine. I soon figured that I was getting no where fast and let it go.
30. War by Edwin Starr~I often feel like I am in the midst of a war with Eliza. It’s not by choice, but rather by force. I don’t want to fight with her–for what? As Edwin said, “What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!”
31. Emotional by Carl Thomas~Eliza is a very emotional person. She cries a lot and is always worked up about something. Her temperment is very volatile and unstable.
32. Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell~This song describes her extreme paranoia to a tee. Her very aura is one of suspicion and anxiety.
33. Poison by BBD~This ditty describes her tongue. She uses her mouth to shoot off the most wicked lies.
34. Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones~What a great way to describe the depression that Eliza brings to my life. She is very gifted at turning my lightness into darkness. I try to not let her steal my joy, but I have to admit, sometimes, she wins.
35. Backstabbers by The O’Jays~Still pulling out that last knife in the form of the poisonous letter that she penned to the court. I couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to say that she does not know what is going on with her baby! The court clerk even acknowledged that I have went above and beyond to keep her informed! Despite her accusations, at every visit she wants to pretend like we are the best of friends! They smile in your face…
36. Hang Up Your Hang Ups by Herbie Hancock~She can’t let go of past grievances and traumas and therefore internalizes everything.
37. Bag Lady by Erykah Badu~ Emotional baggage is damaging. Eliza’s load most be a terrible burden to bear. Erykah was right–we should all “pack light.”
Morocco's Bazaar 
I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!! I’m sure we can all steal some of your soundtrack and add it to our own. WONDEFUL!!!
Have a great weekend 🙂
OMGosh, this is too funny! Oh what I could do with a list of my own. 😉
Thanks, girls! I would love to “listen” to your soundtracks!
Can I just say that I love that line up! I’ve created soundtracks for myself, which I probably should do again now that I’ve had such a life-changing happening. But I’d have to agree with the others! I’ll have to sit down sometime and try to do my own soundtrack to share!
I think this would be a therapeutic activity for me to try.
“I Will Survive” became the theme song for me and a neighbor when we were both going through our divorces at the same time. We even performed it using kareoke (sp?) at a neighborhood party. We were a hit!
This is great! What a good idea 🙂
This is hilarious! I used to make soundtracks for old boyfriends, but haven’t done anything like this in years. I will have to try this sometime this week.