After seven years of teaching, I must say that this is the worst year thus far. Don’t get me wrong, the school in which I teach has always had serious educational issues, but now it’s just utterly ridiculous! I am teaching 6 periods out of 7. I don’t take lunch at work because I just don’t have the time to do so during my allotted period. I often feel like a hamster in a wheel. Sometimes I feel like I can’t win my rage against the machine. Sometimes I think Pink Floyd had the right idea.
Just two weeks ago I received a whole new schedule, kids included. We (the faculty) never know what is going on. Everyday it is something new. Usually we find out about things as they are occurring. The kids actually know things before we do!
At best my job is chaotic, very poorly organized, wildly inconsistent, and really a mockery of education if you ask me. My husband calls it Eastside High, alluding to the school in the movie Lean on Me , if that will help you visualize what I deal with on a daily. Most days I am simply overwhelmed at how awful things are. It is extradinarily disheartening.
One day I gripped to a coworker about the inequitable practices and everything else that didn’t sit well with me. I confided in him that I thought it was time for me to find another position elsewhere. I was ready to pack up and cut my losses.
He preached about how much the kids need me. He also said something that has stuck with me. He reminded me that when God was ready for me to go elsewhere, he would create an out for me. He pointed out if it was my time to leave, I would have been one of the teachers placed at another school. However, I was one of the chosen few to remain.
I keep that in mind every day and just hope that I am making a difference for somebody.
Despite the myraid of problems I face I am thankful that I have a job. Although I am totally drained at the end of the day, I have something that many people don’t–a job. Our economy is so unstable right now and the job market is not much better. I am blessed (thank you Father!)
Therefore my challenge at work is turning negatives into positives. This is difficult to do. I try anyways because I want my kids to feel like they are valued. I never want them to think that they shouldn’t have access to excellent teachers. The morale in the building is already abysmally low among both students and staff. I want them to receive a quality English education. They are worth me putting my best foot forward. Afterall, you only get what you put out.