Her Sleeve


By now, I know that Eliza has received our letter that we wrote in response to hers. I’m sure she was not happy with what was written considering that we soundly refuted every concern she raised.  Eliza thought  she was going to be able to write the judge without us ever knowing and get a ruling in her favor.  It probably was a shock to her system when she received the letter from the clerk informing her that we were sent a copy.  So at today’s visit I had no idea what to expect from her.  At the last visit  she was nervous and insecure.

 I suppose I thought she would be somewhat distant and/or hostile.  With that in mind I braced myself for whatever was coming.  However, she was on her very best behavior, other than throwing one jab my husband’s way when I gave her an update about Evan (She declared that Evan’s mental illness derives from my husband’s family because he has a cousin who is schitzophrenic.  I told her that it was unlikely because it was his cousin’s mom who suffered from mental illness. My husband and his cousin are related because their dads are brothers.)  She was quite charming.  She even asked about Nicholas–something that she has NEVER done before.  Eliza also asked if I would write her regarding the conversation that I have scheduled with Evan’s pyschiatrist on Wednesday.  And:

  • She apologized for taking 45 minutes to come out.
  • She shared with me that she is interested in taking cosmetology classes.
  • Eliza has put in a transfer request to a prison that is much closer.
  • Eliza hugged me at the end of the visit.
  • She shared with me that her culinary arts class would get to cook a Thanksgiving dinner which gave her something to look forward to.
  • She asked if I would send her more of Evan’s drawings.
  • She inquired about how my stepfather was doing.
  • Eliza told me the times that her other son has football games so that I could take the boys if I wanted.
  • She expressed her thanks and appreciation to me for bringing Ethan down.

It was a tad unsettling.  She is the proverbial box of chocolates that Forest Gump spoke of, you just never know what your gonna get.  Generally she is pleasant in person because for some reason, I think she is intimidated by me.  Once she is no longer in my presence, her true self and feelings emerge.  She allows her paranoia and anxiety to take control.  She is also aided and abetted by the numerous prison attorneys who work for free and supply her with poor, illogical advice.  Let’s not forget about the other pot stirrers who love to cook up batches of trouble and contention. 

I wonder if she felt bad for writing what she did?  Or is it that she misses the special favors that she used to get from me?  Maybe she misses hearing her name called at mail time and receiving the care packages that I used to send.  Sometimes she is so hard to read. Forgive me for being suspicious, but I am left to wonder what Eliza has up her sleeve!  It could just be her arm, but her sudden change in attitude makes a girl wonder…

11 responses »

  1. How timely this post is. I often wonder, too, when someone is very hateful one minute and then “nicey nice” the next. I always think she’s up to something and I’ve found that I’m usually right on trusting my instinct. But, I have to say that the other side of me always holds on to a little glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe God is changing her.

  2. Right, eh? I don’t understand why she has to go through all of the motions of being evil. It must be confusing and tiring to her as well being so wishy-washy. Eliza knew that she had no legitimate grounds to write that letter in the first place. I would like to think positively, but in the past, she has crushed my hopes every time.

  3. I would say that you have every right to be somewhat suspicious. It’s kind of hard to trust someone and take good behavior as genuine when there is such a history of disappointment and treachery. I guess, stay on your toes, trust your gut instinct, but don’t jump to conclusions until she unveils her true colors once more.

  4. I would be wondering and suspicious too. If you never know what you are going to get- you never know! It’s a good thing to stay positive, but maybe just don’t hold on to your hopes or expectations. People just don’t always live up to them.

  5. Morocco, based on some of your past writings about Eliza, this recent behavior by her shouldn’t come as a surprise. Eliza is locked up for doing something really bad and really stupid, but in many ways she is showing that she still has some smarts about her. The phrase (Kill them with kindness) applies here. Once she realized you knew she sent that letter to the court behind your back, her only thought probably was that she had messed up, and would lose the things you bring to her (prison) life. From that point on she probably was thinking of ways to try and fix things with you. During your visit, she said and did all the right things to try and stay connected to you, and try and repair the damage done by that letter she sent, and her attitude towards you lately. I don’t think she is sorry she sent that letter, she is sorry she got caught. I am sure she does miss all the things you have done for her in the past and would like for you to do them again. She is now playing the only card she has available to her. ( the being nice card) I am sure her being nicey during your visit made the visit less stressful for you, and I hope she keeps it up in future visits. But take it for what it is and don’t set your self up to be let down by her once again, because her history shows that she will at some point, turn on you again.

  6. Oldfriend said exactly what I wanted to say. It would be nice if you can just think nothing was up her sleeve but her arm but too bad that isn’t true.

    Hopefully she will stay nice the next visit but don’t expect it. Oh that girl, she will never learn.

  7. I agree with oldfriend and serendipitous8 that Eliza does have something up her sleeve. She reminds me of that Rihanna song: Don’t tell me you’re sorry when you’re not. Baby, when you know you’re only sorry you got caught. You put on quite a show. Very entertaining….

    Watch out for her. I shudder to think what life is going to be like when she gets out. I will pray for you and your family.

  8. Old Friend you made some good points. True enough, I was not totally surprised by her twofacedness. Really, this is her trademark.

    If things go her way in court, she might go back to her old self. I am uncomfortable when she is “too nice” to me because I know that her niceness comes with a price. I just wonder what she wants THIS time.

    Leila, I agree. I am dreading her release because I know it will be nothing but drama, headache, and heartache. And sadly, there is not much we can do to circumvent her behavior or prevent her from trapping us in her dysfunctional web.

    I know that she will drag us through so much turmoil until we grow tied and give in to her desires. I am trying to prepare myself for it…

  9. I bet that you get tired of the games. When does she get out? In a very different way I am going through a similiar situation right now. It is emotionally exhausting.

  10. I’m with the others…don’t trust, be wary.

    I’ve learned from hard experience that the ex we deal with in our house is only nice when she wants something or is up to something.

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