ATTENTION all coffee lovers–get ready for a good laugh! I have a confession to make; I am not much of a coffee drinker.  I really don’t like the bitter, burning taste.  I like all things tea.  In fact, my favorite hot beverage at Starbucks is the green tea latte with an extra shot of syrup, topped with whipped cream.

Now on occassion, if I am extremely tired, I will have a cuppa Joe.  However, my cup consists of more  heavy cream and sugar than actual coffee.  And strangely enough, I even love coffee ice-cream.  But the actual drink itself simply does not appeal to my taste buds.

My mother was a true coffee fan.  She liked it straight up black.  When feeling adventerous ,she would maybe add a scant teaspoon of cream and a packet of Splenda.  Mommy even drank it faithfully in the summertime–steaming hot, not the iced down watery version loved by many.

So last week on the way to dropping Nic off at school, we stopped by Dunkin Donuts.  I decided I needed a little jolt and ordered a small latte.  It was not sweet enough for me, so when I got to work, I added a few teaspoons of sugar.

About an hour later I started feeling really strange.  I felt nervous and jittery.  I could feel my heart racing and jumping.  I was dizzy and nauseous.  And I had an incredible amount of energy.  I was rapidly floating past cloud 9!  It was so scary!!!  A few of my students commented on my extra pep as I raced down the halls.   Feeling so weird I wondered to myself if they had put a shot of speed in my cup!  It was both awful and awesome.  I felt sooooo bizarre!

As the day wore I on, I felt very sluggish.  My heart was thumping slowly.  I was tired and crabby.  My attention span was short.  Honestly, I felt terrible!  It was like my system had ben poisoned!

When I got home I called my husband to let him know about my caffeine induced coma.  He commiserated with me and suggested that I take a nap.  Two hours later I woke up and called my stepfather, another true coffee drinker.   I wanted to tell him all about my near death experience. He laughed as he described my reaction as a “caffeine rush.”  He said he was familiar with the feeling as he is a regular drinker of this brutal brew.  It’s how I get through the day most of the time he informed me.

Well, not me.  I’ll  have to pass if that’s what it takes to get through the day.  It was simply the worst malaise I have felt in a long while.  I don’t want anything affiliated with coffee.  I get the shivers just looking at a coffee maker. 

In my opinion, it should be an illegal drug the way it left me reeling!

9 responses »

  1. Funny story! It totally is a drug, and not really good for us. But it does taste sooo yummy. I must cut back myself, although I usually only drink 1/2 decaf anyway. Once you start, it’s hard to stop!

  2. Oh No! I actually used to live off of coffee while in the office. But then I went camping with the boys and the boyfriend (no coffee for about a week straight.) Then I had one cup and I got all jittery and I was jumping out of my skin. I’ve since cut down on coffee. I only order the mochas or lattes, but there are times I still crave it. I do love tea though! Stash is one of my absolute favorite tea companies to shop at.

  3. Isn’t that odd….I seriously feel no effects from caffeine. And I don’t drink too much either. Maybe a tea or 2 a day and a cuppa coffee every second or so. Soda maybe once every 2 weeks.
    Sometimes I wish I did….that way I could get myself a pick-me-up.

  4. I love the taste of coffee, but I can so relate to your caffeine rush…exactly why I make my own, very weak coffee, in a coffee press. I load it with non-dairy creamer so it remotely resembles coffee. hehe Strangely I’m allergic to some teas, so I have to be really careful there. My real vice is Pepsi, but I rarely drink pop anymore. This was a really cute post, thanks for the smile! 😀

  5. Your students were probably having a great time watching you! I had two cups the other day (unusual for me) and couldn’t get to sleep until after 11 (also unusual). However I got an icredible amount of work done that day.

  6. It is the same with me. I don’t drink coffee and I limit the amount of caffeine that I take in. Believe me, you don’t want to see me “hopped up” on coffee. When I do drink it, I am so talkative that you want to slap me and tell me to shut up. One time I drank some coffee @ 4:30 p.m. and could not get to sleep until after 1:00 a.m.
    So I definitely understand your “rush”.

  7. YIKES!!! No WONDER you are afraid of coffee! I don’t blame you a bit! Fortunately, I have never had coffee make me feel this way. I don’t think I would like that at all either.

  8. Pingback: Choffy Anyone? « Morocco's Bazaar

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