There Will Be Blood

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Eliza is taking us back to court.  We found out yesterday when I retrieved the mail and noticed a letter from the court clerk.  Of course she failed to send us a copy of her two page handwritten letter that was dated July 31st.  Sensing that her document was ex parte communication, the clerk kindly sent us  one.

In her letter she alleges the following:

  • She has not been allowed to visit with Evan, I am asking you to please address the situation with my communication with my boys, visitation with Evan… 
  • She has no idea what is going on with Evan, Your honor I just want to know what is going on with my child…Your honor I just want to know that my baby is okay.
  • We are withholding information from her regarding Evan’s treatment, I‘ve asked several times to have a copy of a report or medical record from his doctor but I was denied.
  • We are rejecting her calls, I try to call but my attempts are rejected.
  • We are preventing her from having a relationship with her boys, Your Honor I have cared for my boys as a single parent their entire life almost.  I’m not perfect but my children has always come first.  I love my boys, I’m all they really know.  I have always done my best as a single parent providing and careing [sic] for my children.  I refuse to stop now.  It is very important and necessary for my children and I to maintain our relationship.  I do pray to regain custody of my boys upon my release.
  • I told her that his doctor ordered that Evan not be allowed to visit or communicate with her,  I was informed by Morocco, my boys stepmom that Evan’s doctor has instructed them not to allow me visits or communication with him.  I asked Morocco if she made his doctor aware that there is a court order allowing me permission to have a relationship with my children.

Interestingly enough, she never mentions my husband.  All of her allegations are directed specifically at me.

I am hurt. 

I have behaved pretty admirably under the circumstances.  I have written her numerous letters (over 40, the last one being sent on July 28th) providing her with detailed information about his treatment, even making the three hour trip on two seperate occasions so that I could address her concerns.  When I did in fact send her case summaries from the therapist, they only seemed to upset her.   She felt that they were an attack on her parenting–even though they only addressed Evan’s issues and his treatment plan.

I have helped him write several letters to her, even transcribing them myself while he dictated.  I send her photographs as well as crafts that he has made.  I make sure that they acknowledge her on every holiday–big and small.

Evan’s therapist did say that he was not stable enough to visit her at the inception of his treatment.  She is still sticking with her professional opinion.  Eliza also did not include the reason why Evan is even in a mental hospital in the first place.  She did not tell the judge that her child is suffering from chronic PTSD because of the violence (including the murder that she is incarcerated for) that he has witnessed in her care.  Furthermore, it is a hospital and not a hotel.  We can not check him out at our leisure in order to take him on a 14 hour roundtrip visit to see her.

Ethan has not missed a single visit since the judge ordered that we do so.  I have put 1, 728 miles on my car to date escorting him so that he may spend time with Eliza.  She failed to mention this small detail.

I have arranged outings so that the boys could spend time with their brother.

Eliza has only been able to call that one time.  She told me that her third party caller is unable to call on the day and times that the judge granted her.  To prove this we can request to have our phone records subpoened.  Also, since she left that nasty message in May, we have provided a cell phone number for her to call.  Through Sprint I am able to track how often she calls–which has been none.  We figured that she would try to blame her inability to call on us and agreed that this would be a good way to prove it.

The hospital does not accept collect calls.

Eliza is really paranoid about what we have “told” the hospital about her.  She refuses to believe that much of what has been “told” about her (other than the initial intake interview) came from her own child’s mouth.

I’ve come to the realization that she wants things messy.  Eliza is determined that man, woman, nor child will walk away unscathed.  She wants us all bleeding right along with her.  Unfortunately, we are all casualties of her war. 

She has to have something to keep the animosity brewing so that she can “rightfully” explode once she is released.  Eliza is going to continue to play dirty every chance she gets.  It’s too bad that she sees this situation as “Us( her, her other son, Ethan, and Evan) and “Them (me, my husband, and Nicholas).” 

The spoon I now feed her with will simply become longer.

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10 responses »

  1. That is most unfortunate that you have to deal with such behavior. I can’t imagine how frustrated and hurt you must feel. I wish you luck with all that and send you strength and patience to deal with it.

  2. Wow!!! Are you serious??? That is what I was saying to myself the entire time I was reading your post. It’s not only unfortunate that you have to deal with such behavior, but just plain ridiculous. How in the world is she complaining behind bars?? Why wouldn’t she be “on her knees” kind of grateful to you for caring for her children? Driving them back and forth to see her, not to mention the day to day care that goes along with running a household. My mouth is still on the floor! Clearly she is bitter about her own situation; intimidated by you and a little guilty for her past mistakes regarding her children. Don’t take it personally! But, don’t kill yourself either, trying to make it better. All you can do is pray for her, for this is something that you can not fix without the help of God. And, she is someone that only God can fix. While you’re doing that[praying for her], I’ll be praying for you. Keep your head up sistah, and thanks for sharing your story.

  3. It’s unbelievable that some people aren’t happy unless there’s chaos and dysfunction…I think that’s the only way they know how to function. I am so sorry you’re going through this, Morocco. Everyone knows that the children, you and your husband do not deserve this. You are all in my prayers and thoughts.

  4. This had to be a shock. I am praying for you. We sit and wonder why people act the way they do, but it isn’t something that is easily figured out.

  5. This is crazy! I don’t really know your whole situation, but it seems pretty wild and farfetched for her to be demanding and accusing things from prison! Especially after what seems like a huge amount of help and generosity on your part, taking care of the boys.
    I’ll never cease to be amazed by people.

  6. Wow! I can’t even imagine where she came up with all this. I kept reading thinking that she can’t be serious. After ALL you do for her and all the times that you went above and beyond to make things special for her. Money for her to eat on during your visits- special packages, etc= where does she come up with these things? I really hope the judge looks at the records from Evan’s treatment and laughs her out of court. She should be thanking you for all you have done.

    Is there any chance that she’ll be out of prison before the kids are grown? I guess I thought that she’d be in prison for a LONG time for murder.

    Wishing you the best!

  7. It sounds like you have things pretty well documented. I’m sure any judge with a brain will see that she has absolutely no grounds to even be taking you back to court. It’s probably frustrating to you, though, to even have to deal with it.

    What a pain! Good luck with it!

  8. Thanks for the replies everyone. It is pretty preposterous and frustrating. We never know when she is going to pull a fast one. Of course at the last visit two weeks ago she smiled in my face (backstabber) and didn’t mention anything about the letter. And here I was thinking that I was doing a good thing!

    I sure hope that the judge has the ability to discern the truth–but now days anything goes. I wouldn’t be too surprised if he found my husband in contempt.

    It sure would have made life easier had she gotten life! Her $45,000 attorney (paid for by her goon of a brother–I’m sure you can guess his occupation) was able to get the murder reduced to criminal homicide and criminal recklessness. The judge gave her the max for each felony so therefore she received a total of 16 years. She only has to serve half of that before being eligible for release. Life is strange.

  9. Oh my….I have been engrossed by your blog. It has taken me a few days to get through it all with work. I have wanted to comment for days.

    REALLY!?!?!? I can’t believe she would pull this crap when she isn’t even the one that is caring for the kids. She is such a great mother but lets not forget that she KILLED someone in front of the kids and now she is getting a high and mighty about talking to them or not talking to them…. THE NERVE!!!! She should be thanking you profusely for taking care of her children while she is in prison.

    It is so odd to me that a mother, who is not taking care of her children, would go after the person that is taking care of her children. What kind of crap is that!?!?!? My BFF was a full time step mom to 2 boys after their mom left them in her care so she could move to Oregon. My friend was the kids mom and did everything for them but their mom, who they would only see every 3 months, would criticize everything my friend would do and when they went to court the BM made the case against my friend saying that she was a bad mother to the kids and lots of other things ONLY about my friend AND not about the kids loser dad. My friend and I both feel that if she would have made her case against the dad then she would of had a shot of getting custody of the boy but she didn’t and she didn’t get custody of the boys. The boys stayed with my friend and their dad.

    She is just a sad person and finding anyone to put her aggression on. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better since you are doing all you can do so she has a relationship with the kids.

    I am further engrossed with your forgiveness of her past nastiness and many of your other blogs about perspective in the situation and not to get involved in the gossip aspect of things. I too have been thinking almost the same thing but in the end I think it will end up the same way with my son’s step mom. It is good to know that there are others out there that feel the same way – Thank you!!!

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