Let the Circle Remain Unbroken

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            Sometimes I wonder if I am obligated to help Eliza stay connected with Ethan and Evan.  I think I know the answer to my own question and I would have to say no.  I am not obligated to do anything for her.  But I do.  I do it because it feels good.  I do it because this is who I am.  I do it because they shouldn’t have to bear the burden of her bad choice.  I do it because I would want it done for me. 

            You have to be creative when keeping an incarcerated parent connected to their children.  I try to put myself in her place and imagine what I would want.  With that in mind I send her pictures, school work, and report cards.  If I ask the kids enough, they will write her on occasion.  Sometimes they will send her drawings.  But they won’t do anything without my prompting.  I write Eliza often to provide her with updates about them so that when she does write, which she does faithfully, she will have something to talk about.  On birthdays and holidays we always send a card or something equally special.  I also take them down once a month for visits.  During this time I try to stay in the background and let them have their time with her.  She only gets twenty-four hours per year.  I am with them everyday.  I can honestly say that she is interested in staying close to them.  Why not help her?  I see myself as part of the circle.

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2 responses »

  1. Morocco, it sounds like not only are you a part of the circle, but are the designer and the keeper of the circle. Does your husband support your vast efforts in the quest to keep the kids connected to Eliza? Is he part of the circle also? He should feel lucky to have married someone so caring , to be willing to do all you do for his kids and their bio mom. You have done some very nice things in keeping the circle complete. You should feel good.

  2. Thanks Old Friend! I do think that my husband is as supportive as he knows how to be in this situation. He does not try to deter me from doing things to help the connection stay in tact, so I see that as a positive.

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