Full Moon

No More Baby’s Mama Drama: keeping It Out of Your Life and Marriage by Ayesha J. Gallion

http://www.ayeshagallion.com/bmd.html                      

So, you’ve finally met your Prince Charming. He’s handsome, caring, and thoughtful–”but he comes with one scary string attached: His Ex, the mother of his children. And she isn’t happy to meet you. Welcome to the not-so-wonderful world of baby mama drama…

From Chapter 4: No Home Training: Tales of a Rude Ex

 

Have you tried starting off on the right foot but noticed that no matter how cordial, polite, patronizing, and
accommodating you were, there was always the lingering scent of BM’s funky attitude? In addition to
keeping yourself from smacking BM whenever she spoke to your husband in a rude tone, you also began
to notice that BM made extra efforts to direct nasty comments or behavior toward you. 

Unusually prolonged stares from BM when your husband drops off/picks up the visiting
stepchildren.

·             If you say hello to BM or try to make small talk her responses are harsh or nonexistent.

·             BM calls your home and refuses to ask politely to speak with your husband or her children if they
are visiting.

·             BM tells your in-laws horrible lies about you.

·             BM tells your stepchildren that they don’t have to listen to you or follow your household’s rules.

You may be thinking Why me? If BM has a problem, she needed to settle that score with my husband a
long time ago; he’s the one who’s connected to her, not me!  This is a sound premise but if you’re reading
this book then you should know by now that BM is no pacifist philosopher intrigued by logic.
In BM’s twisted mind, YOU are the outsider. YOU are the enemy. In fact, BM probably believes YOU put an
ancient African spell on your husband so he would marry you—because it is YOU who has stolen him
from her and their children, right? BM believes that bearing your husband’s children gives her the right to
own their father and his future. Maybe in a fairytale, but in real life, all men and women stand the chance
of losing a partner for myriad reasons.
BM will do her best to isolate you from the stepchildren, from your husband, and even the extended
family. You may feel like a worker ant in your queendom instead of the queen, but don’t let this fool make
you take off your crown for a Battle Royale. Instead you must allow her to tumble mindlessly into the moat
and drown in her own foolishness.

 

I’m Not Your KId!A Christian’s Guide to a Healthy Stepfamily

http://www.faithfulsteps.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Dear God.  Just tell me what to do.  Nothing I’ve tried seems to work.  Just tell me what to do.”

 

As a stepmother, this was my prayer more than once in the few years my stepdaughter lived with us.  Numerous times I changed my approach to her, hoping to find a happy medium from which to base our new relationship—one in which I could be a friend to her, maintain integrity as a responsible guardian, and not overstep boundaries as a “not-the-momma.”  Still, it didn’t occur to me that a day would come when she would reject me.  I never expected that my husband would be torn between us, or that others would come to suspect that I didn’t provide her with proper care.   

 

The negative images of the fairy-tale stepmother combined with lack of blood relationships create some very tainted filters through which stepkids, biological parents, and sometimes other outsiders view the stepparent.  Stepparents can try to position themselves in a better light, but they are powerless to remove those filters from the eyes of those who watch them. Does that mean stepparents are doomed to an eggshell existence, forever tiptoeing through stepfamily life trying not to upset the status quo?  Definitely not! But to live outside of that eggshell existence will mean developing empathy for the little darlings that seem bent on ruining our lives!  What do you do to change how you feel about your stepkids?  How do you keep from actually becoming that dreaded malevolent being? 

• Why don’t I have control over my own schedule?
• What kind of relationship do I want with my stepkids?
• What if I want to have a baby of my own?
• How do we create a budget that feels fair if I make more money than my husband does?

A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom is essential reading for the professional woman who has it all—and then suddenly has more than she expected.

Written by the UK’s number one parenting counselor, “Teach Yourself Successful Step-Parenting” is a practical guide to coping with the many issues faced by the blended family, and to deriving a positive relationship with your family members. It is full of straightforward and easy-to-follow advice that anyone can act on, with plenty of emotional support for you in times of need. It covers not just all the members of the family involved directly, but also such knock-on issues as grandparents and access. With help for children of all ages, mums and dads, it takes a step-by-step approach to the subject, covering everything from the earliest days of a new relationship to the issues raised by a new baby, with sensible information on finances and schools, and suggestions for stress-free holidays.

 

 

 

 Think Twice, Second Wife by Sandra Kellam

You married the man of your dream, but there’s just one concern.  He brings with him an ex-wife, or ex-wives and children in tow.   You thought you could handle it, but it’s more than you bargained for.  You love him, but you are struggling with the relationship with his children, and your soon-to-be step-children.  What do you do?  How do you handle this situation?  

This is an easy read.  Sandy shares her candid and honest experience as a second wife who marries a wonderful man with two small daughters and a bitter ex-wife.  There are practical and biblical steps you can take that will get you through the tough times.  You are not alone.     

More than half of all first marriages end in divorce.  Studies tell us that more of us will be in blended families than in traditional family structure; Sixty (60) percent of remarriages tend to end in divorce.  Yours doesn’t have to be part of those statistics.   Take this book home with you and share it with family and friends who are sharing your same frustrations. 

Also included is a questionnaire for discussion in your church or small group and ten practical steps you can use to support you through the tough times.