Endship

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In life we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.

Two weeks ago I ended a friendship that spanned twenty years. I thought it would be hard to do, but it wasn’t. The problem that I was having with her was her love for gossip. And she gossiped about everybody and everything! Listening to her speak, you would have thought that certain celebrities were among her closest friends the way she discussed the most intimate details of their lives “I can’t believe Beyonce… Mike (Epps) need to be ashamed for talking to his daughter that way…”

She was also highly competitive and scrutinized my every move and purchase. She always tried to criticize me “on the low” as my students would say.  Often after being in contact with her I would feel so slimy. She was just too much!

Not to mention, her SIL has a son with Eliza’s brother and I wanted to remove myself from that whole drama circle. When her SIL was buddies with Eliza, she used to prank call my house and job on her behalf. So thus when we are in each other’s presence, it is too awkward for her, so much to the point where I started wondering if I had been the one harassing her!

A dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone so I was not surprised to learn that she had been talking about me with a friend of hers. Now when most people talk about you behind your back,  mind you, they don’t usually come and tell you about it and then blame it on the party that doesn’t know you, lol.

When I told her that I didn’t want to be the object of their messy drama, she was totally indignant that I was offended. Her text read Oh and one last thing. I do feel like u have a issue with me, and if that’s true then it’s displaced irritation and we need to keep it moving  because if it’s that “silly” then let it be just that!” She didn’t seem to think their discussion regarding how much life insurance I received when my husband died and what all I had been doing with the funds was a big deal.

I told her it was best that we end the friendship because it was pointless to explain that she is the only one I could have an issue with for discussing my business as I don’t know her friend. She just doesn’t get it and at this stage in life, I’m not sure she will. Unhappy with my response, she took it to Facebook writing “STILL learning that  people come into your life sometimes for just a season and earn no comebacks. All emotional cripples exit stage left.”

I hope she starts her exit soon.

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6 responses »

  1. I also ended a 20+ friendship last year. I felt that I was her friend, but she wasn’t mine. The ending of it played like a bad movie. I tried to explain to her that the situation wasn’t how she thought. I told her I would call her when I got off work and explain it. But, she continued to text me nasty messages throughout the day. My anger got the best of me and I responded in anger also. So, that’s how it played out. A 20+ year friendship ended over text. I was sad, but if it could end so easily, then it wasn’t as important as I thought. It seems as if this person’s exit from your life is the best thing for you. I’m sure she will continue her messy, gossiping and troublemaking ways. At least now you’re not a participant in her drama!

    • In my situation, she knew she was wrong, which is why she called me at home at 6:52am and then on my cell phone when I didn’t answer. It was her attempt at damage control. I actually think it was better that it ended via text as she is the type who will not let you get a word in edgewise.
      Unfortunately, I don’t think she will be changing anytime soon. I wish her the best though. And you are so right, I am glad that I am not involved in any more of her high drama!

  2. Sometimes long time friendships end when you just grow apart. Or in this case, it sounds like you grew up and she didn’t.

    Sorry she brought drama to your life. Glad you were able to see what she was doing and end it fairly painlessly. :)

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